and now for something completely different...
I need to stop meddling in the lives of other people. Especially friends. I think it pisses them off, especially since I think that a lot of them see it not as the honest concern or advice that it is, but as some sort of jealousy or criticism. I don't know, it's just that after my family, my friends are the most important things to me in the world.
It's just that I tend to take on my friends' problems, absorbing them into my already endless litany of problems. Whatever it is, money concerns or health concerns, schooling or family, whatever. But, it's been especially so when it comes to relationships lately. I suppose that it doesn't help that most of my friends are female. Being a guy, and especially being a guy that can read people quite well, I have a certain perspective that they don't have when it comes to that all important arena of life. It kills me inside to see my friends worked up about the things, whether it be a wanting to be in one when they really aren't ready, be in a relationship with the wrong sort of guy, or whatever. For instance, I have a friend right now that claims she wants me. At first I thought it was a joke, now I think it's real. I try to tell her that she doesn't want me (a relationship between us would last approximately three days...she and I wanting totally different things), that she doesn't need to have a guy, but she won't listen to me. That makes for akward conversation to say the least, not to mention the fact that I feel I need to distance myself from her.
Another friend is one to constantly bitch about the guys she's dated...most, if not all, guys she's met in bars. She hooks up, gets pissed with him, and then moves onto another bar guy. It never stops. She talks about how men are pigs and all that, but she never realizes that guys that pick up women in bars tend to be that way. She won't listen when I tell her that not all guys are like that (I sure ain't) but then she hooks up again. She's at it right now, even as I write. I guess she has an obsessive need to be with someone, but that just isn't right. I just can't get it through to her that she's a good person even without a guy on her arm...she just goes on about how she's "fat" and all that other glossy magazine inspired shit.
Another friend has me concerned for entirely other reasons, though she may read this so I won't go into anything close to detail (howdy there!).
And there are others...many, many others throughout my life.
But I guess it all comes down to one thing -- this feeling that all of my female friends seem to have that they need to be with someone to be somehow whole. To be "normal" or something. They go out of there way to hook up with someone, anyone, even if they feel that it's for the wrong reasons or they know that they're in this cycle of longing and desire. They refuse to sit down and examine their lives, LIVE their lives, and really figure out what they want for themselves. They seem to push aside the desire to be individuals, instead opting to be one-half of a couple. Most (and by that I mean all but two) of my woman-friends have been no more than two months or so outside of a relationship since they were in their teens and the two that have been, obsess about it constantly. And I just don't see how that can possibly be emotionally, inetellectually, spiritually, or even physically healthy. I've said it once and I'll say it again...you gotta be.
I certainly hate to make it sound like I'm picking on women here, but the thing is, I see it as being more disconcerting on their parts. Maybe it's because most of my friends are women and those are the friends of whom's problems I deal with more often, maybe it's because most of my male friends tend to keep relationships in perspective -- both not having this seemingly overwhelming desire to be in one and this ability to maintain a balance of their own lives once they are. Maybe it's because most of my male friends have long term girlfriends or, like me, are super-confirmed bachelors without a chance in hell of getting themselves in the position to have girl problems.
I don't know, I'm just dealing with a lot of different friends' problems in terms of relationships and it's just eating me up inside, draining me of emotional energy and a willingness to do what I need to do for myself (for instance, I take the LSATs in nine days and I have not prepared myself as well as I should have). I have this fucking curse upon me which makes me feel all too aware of other peoples' problems, especially those of those I care about, and I just can't shake it. Anyway, I don't mean to sound like a creep or anything, but I really needed to get that off my chest...I mean, I almost posted something merely about how I don't understand women and the like, but I really want to figure this shit out. Help me here, I'm dyin'!
I need to stop meddling in the lives of other people. Especially friends. I think it pisses them off, especially since I think that a lot of them see it not as the honest concern or advice that it is, but as some sort of jealousy or criticism. I don't know, it's just that after my family, my friends are the most important things to me in the world.
It's just that I tend to take on my friends' problems, absorbing them into my already endless litany of problems. Whatever it is, money concerns or health concerns, schooling or family, whatever. But, it's been especially so when it comes to relationships lately. I suppose that it doesn't help that most of my friends are female. Being a guy, and especially being a guy that can read people quite well, I have a certain perspective that they don't have when it comes to that all important arena of life. It kills me inside to see my friends worked up about the things, whether it be a wanting to be in one when they really aren't ready, be in a relationship with the wrong sort of guy, or whatever. For instance, I have a friend right now that claims she wants me. At first I thought it was a joke, now I think it's real. I try to tell her that she doesn't want me (a relationship between us would last approximately three days...she and I wanting totally different things), that she doesn't need to have a guy, but she won't listen to me. That makes for akward conversation to say the least, not to mention the fact that I feel I need to distance myself from her.
Another friend is one to constantly bitch about the guys she's dated...most, if not all, guys she's met in bars. She hooks up, gets pissed with him, and then moves onto another bar guy. It never stops. She talks about how men are pigs and all that, but she never realizes that guys that pick up women in bars tend to be that way. She won't listen when I tell her that not all guys are like that (I sure ain't) but then she hooks up again. She's at it right now, even as I write. I guess she has an obsessive need to be with someone, but that just isn't right. I just can't get it through to her that she's a good person even without a guy on her arm...she just goes on about how she's "fat" and all that other glossy magazine inspired shit.
Another friend has me concerned for entirely other reasons, though she may read this so I won't go into anything close to detail (howdy there!).
And there are others...many, many others throughout my life.
But I guess it all comes down to one thing -- this feeling that all of my female friends seem to have that they need to be with someone to be somehow whole. To be "normal" or something. They go out of there way to hook up with someone, anyone, even if they feel that it's for the wrong reasons or they know that they're in this cycle of longing and desire. They refuse to sit down and examine their lives, LIVE their lives, and really figure out what they want for themselves. They seem to push aside the desire to be individuals, instead opting to be one-half of a couple. Most (and by that I mean all but two) of my woman-friends have been no more than two months or so outside of a relationship since they were in their teens and the two that have been, obsess about it constantly. And I just don't see how that can possibly be emotionally, inetellectually, spiritually, or even physically healthy. I've said it once and I'll say it again...you gotta be.
I certainly hate to make it sound like I'm picking on women here, but the thing is, I see it as being more disconcerting on their parts. Maybe it's because most of my friends are women and those are the friends of whom's problems I deal with more often, maybe it's because most of my male friends tend to keep relationships in perspective -- both not having this seemingly overwhelming desire to be in one and this ability to maintain a balance of their own lives once they are. Maybe it's because most of my male friends have long term girlfriends or, like me, are super-confirmed bachelors without a chance in hell of getting themselves in the position to have girl problems.
I don't know, I'm just dealing with a lot of different friends' problems in terms of relationships and it's just eating me up inside, draining me of emotional energy and a willingness to do what I need to do for myself (for instance, I take the LSATs in nine days and I have not prepared myself as well as I should have). I have this fucking curse upon me which makes me feel all too aware of other peoples' problems, especially those of those I care about, and I just can't shake it. Anyway, I don't mean to sound like a creep or anything, but I really needed to get that off my chest...I mean, I almost posted something merely about how I don't understand women and the like, but I really want to figure this shit out. Help me here, I'm dyin'!
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home