"I am firmly convinced that not only excess of consciousness, but any conciousness at all is a disease." -Dostoevski

Guilt is the yoke that I bear and have for many years. The inability to be happy of my situation if my happiness relies on the unhappiness or discomfort of another. From the times that I have left friendships to the times of I ran away from love, from the time that guilt overcame me on Easter morning three years ago to now, the pain of accepting gifts of time, emotion, or life itself that I have not earned creates a sickening knot in my stomach and draws tears from my eyes. I am not worthy, I do not deserve so much that I have been given, and I certainly have no right to ask for more...