Okay, the question has been asked of me if these ramblings as of late are aimed at anyone. The short answer is no, the long answer takes time. When I go into these existential sort of rants, they are often times things that I wish I could talk to people about to their faces...but my extreme shyness and introversion prevents that. That being said, they are not really specific in nature, but rather the product of specific events mulled over into general feelings that my mind turns them into being. I mean, I see something at the mall, for instance, or have some conversation with a friend and it gets me thinking, and thinking about it tends to force it into grand generalizations rather than the specific instance that generated the idea. I do not speak of specifics in these persoal meanderings, but rather the broader implications of specifics.
But of course, this post breaks that rule. A friend who reads this asked me if the things I write were directed at her. No, not really. But sort of. Sometimes a certain specific may pop up (my mentioning a week or so ago of "three-o'clock-knocking-on-the-window obsessive" or something like that would be an example), but they are not the reason for my writing anything...just the larger scope issues that those instances remind me of.
As for any other deeper meaning in this, there is none. I do not write to get anything out of this, I do not intend on trying to cryptically announce any sort of lusting or anything of the sort. I have a fear that some of what I write (whether here or in poems or stories that I write...and publically share) may be read this way as I tend to be rather melodramtic and overstate my loneliness. It's just drama and literary games on my part, I assure you. Nothing should be read into what I post. I am not trying to woo anyone through these posts, nor am I trying to say that I want anything from anyone aside from what I may say in real life. My blabbering about loneliness is not an invitation or plea for romanticism with anyone I know. In case anyone thought that that might be the case, which I feel may be so. If that is the case, be up front with me about it -- through e-mail, phone, or face to face conversation -- and we'll discuss. I have no qualms about that.
I hope that this clears things up rather than muddies the water.
But of course, this post breaks that rule. A friend who reads this asked me if the things I write were directed at her. No, not really. But sort of. Sometimes a certain specific may pop up (my mentioning a week or so ago of "three-o'clock-knocking-on-the-window obsessive" or something like that would be an example), but they are not the reason for my writing anything...just the larger scope issues that those instances remind me of.
As for any other deeper meaning in this, there is none. I do not write to get anything out of this, I do not intend on trying to cryptically announce any sort of lusting or anything of the sort. I have a fear that some of what I write (whether here or in poems or stories that I write...and publically share) may be read this way as I tend to be rather melodramtic and overstate my loneliness. It's just drama and literary games on my part, I assure you. Nothing should be read into what I post. I am not trying to woo anyone through these posts, nor am I trying to say that I want anything from anyone aside from what I may say in real life. My blabbering about loneliness is not an invitation or plea for romanticism with anyone I know. In case anyone thought that that might be the case, which I feel may be so. If that is the case, be up front with me about it -- through e-mail, phone, or face to face conversation -- and we'll discuss. I have no qualms about that.
I hope that this clears things up rather than muddies the water.
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