I am sorry to those few that regularly read this blog for the stuff that I have been posting these last few days, it's just that this blog has taken over as my main "journal" and also tends to be the only sort of conversation time that I have in my sad, little, pathetic life. Even if the conversation is one-sided...it still feels good to know that there might, just might, be someone out there reading this and understanding what it is that I'm trying to say. I can't put into words how lonely I feel...not just romantically, socially, or what have you, but alone as the only person on this goddam planet that sees things the way I do, that thinks too much, that loves too much. I just don't see it anywhere else...

But maybe it is out there, maybe it's me that's the freak that's gotta go blabbering it all over the internet, maybe everyone else just bottles it up. The thing is, I can't. And if that makes me a shitty human being, well so be it. Because I'm not going to change...even if it means the death of me. I just wish that standing up for individuality, standing up to not playing fucking games when it comes to interpersonal relationships, calling them as you see them was not so fucking stigmatized in the eyes of our society. I feel shunned like a leper more days than I don't. I feel shat upon, stomped on, passed up, spat at, looked down on, lead around, and otherwise dragged through the dirt everyday of my life by total strangers and those I care about alike. And the thing is, I can't bring myself to hate any of them...come to think of it, I can't bring myself to do have anything but love in my heart.

I am Kyle. Maybe I wish I wasn't, but I don't think that is the case. This is just the state of my life, take it or leave it. I will stand strong, I will prevail, but it's probably going to hurt like hell by the time the game is over.