Happiness -- oh, that most elusive of ideals. You hear it mentioned all the time but I don't think that that many people have really taken the time to understand what the word means. The word -- the idea -- is thrown about like it's just some petty emotion, slightly more positive than contentment. But it's not, happiness, after Love, is the most important thing that we have to strive for in our lives. It is the purpose of life.
The ancient Greeks, Aristotle in particular, would argue that happiness comes from living your life in moderation. It comes from not being extreme in any trait -- neither magnanimousness or stinginess, but sensibleness for example -- through every set of emotional dialectics that life consists of. Living life, then, becomes a series of choices between extremes and happiness is found in being completely balanced in those choices and lacking extreme positions. The Buddha also preached such a Middle Road, as did Jesus to some extent (though in many ways a more humble road than middle). Happiness later became something that had to do with enlightenment more than how one lives one's life. In the Middle Ages it became something almost entirely having to do with the Church and one's expectation for the afterlife. Then happiness became more philosophical again as the rationalists and empiricalists mulled over philosophical questions and physicists tried to figure out how the world works.
Today though, I look out into the world and I see happiness defined in ways completely foriegn to its reality. I see happiness defined as success more than anything -- as a description of how things are going in life rather than what's going on inside. I see this concept of "happiness" dependent on romance, on money, on things, on power, on fame, on eveything that is outside of the heart. I see people claim to be "unhappy" because they are lonely and "happy" because they are not. I see people claim that when they are broke they are "unhappy" and claim that if they were rich that they'd be "happy". I, myself, felt that I was unhappy because things weren't going right in my life and that getting a woman, a good job, fewer problems, and and all of that American Dream™ stuff would suddenly make me happy. How ignorant is that way of thinking, how naive. Yeah, it's natural, but it's so foolish that I can't understand it. I can't understand how I allowed myself to fall in that trap. Loneliness does not equal unhappiness, being poor does not mean that you cannot be happy. I know this stuff, I've spent years and years and years of my life struggling with the great questions of life and the nature of happiness has been high on my list from the beginning. And yet I fell for the trap that society set for all of us. The trap that most of us, slightly fewer than all of us, fell for.
But now I remember what it all means, like that second-take of the Sun after two straight months of clouds. Happiness has nothing to do with who you know, what you own, where you live, or even how you live your life. It doesn't require anyone else's love or acceptence. It doesn't require any comparing of oneself to anyone else. If anything, these notions that we all have are positive hindrances to true happiness. That is because happiness is dependent upon nothing outside of you. It is based entirely on what's in your heart. Happiness comes from accepting oneself, from believing oneself, from knowing oneself, and, most importantly, from loving oneself. It comes from being comfortable with the person that you are. Happiness is letting go of anxeity and distrust, fear and loneliness, disallusionment and self-pity. It comes from allowing yourself to just be, not do or have or any other verbs that we allow to dictate our lives, but just being and existing and being comfortable with that. Not to feel like you have to be something to someone or everyone else, not to feel like there even is a pass or a fail in life: there's not.
The ancient Greeks, Aristotle in particular, would argue that happiness comes from living your life in moderation. It comes from not being extreme in any trait -- neither magnanimousness or stinginess, but sensibleness for example -- through every set of emotional dialectics that life consists of. Living life, then, becomes a series of choices between extremes and happiness is found in being completely balanced in those choices and lacking extreme positions. The Buddha also preached such a Middle Road, as did Jesus to some extent (though in many ways a more humble road than middle). Happiness later became something that had to do with enlightenment more than how one lives one's life. In the Middle Ages it became something almost entirely having to do with the Church and one's expectation for the afterlife. Then happiness became more philosophical again as the rationalists and empiricalists mulled over philosophical questions and physicists tried to figure out how the world works.
Today though, I look out into the world and I see happiness defined in ways completely foriegn to its reality. I see happiness defined as success more than anything -- as a description of how things are going in life rather than what's going on inside. I see this concept of "happiness" dependent on romance, on money, on things, on power, on fame, on eveything that is outside of the heart. I see people claim to be "unhappy" because they are lonely and "happy" because they are not. I see people claim that when they are broke they are "unhappy" and claim that if they were rich that they'd be "happy". I, myself, felt that I was unhappy because things weren't going right in my life and that getting a woman, a good job, fewer problems, and and all of that American Dream™ stuff would suddenly make me happy. How ignorant is that way of thinking, how naive. Yeah, it's natural, but it's so foolish that I can't understand it. I can't understand how I allowed myself to fall in that trap. Loneliness does not equal unhappiness, being poor does not mean that you cannot be happy. I know this stuff, I've spent years and years and years of my life struggling with the great questions of life and the nature of happiness has been high on my list from the beginning. And yet I fell for the trap that society set for all of us. The trap that most of us, slightly fewer than all of us, fell for.
But now I remember what it all means, like that second-take of the Sun after two straight months of clouds. Happiness has nothing to do with who you know, what you own, where you live, or even how you live your life. It doesn't require anyone else's love or acceptence. It doesn't require any comparing of oneself to anyone else. If anything, these notions that we all have are positive hindrances to true happiness. That is because happiness is dependent upon nothing outside of you. It is based entirely on what's in your heart. Happiness comes from accepting oneself, from believing oneself, from knowing oneself, and, most importantly, from loving oneself. It comes from being comfortable with the person that you are. Happiness is letting go of anxeity and distrust, fear and loneliness, disallusionment and self-pity. It comes from allowing yourself to just be, not do or have or any other verbs that we allow to dictate our lives, but just being and existing and being comfortable with that. Not to feel like you have to be something to someone or everyone else, not to feel like there even is a pass or a fail in life: there's not.
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