I woke up this morning because I had to pee real bad. And then I couldn't go back to sleep. D'oh! The thing is, if I can get up, do my business and get back into bed without thinking at all, I'm good to go...but then a thought just had to pop into my head, and then another, and then another and just as easily I was awake, not wide awake, but awake enough to not be asleep. :)

Anyway, I wanted to say something about my posts of the last couple days. I think I am still happy. I have not been dreading life, I have been able to fall asleep at night, I have even been able to cope with the Christmas shoppers on the roads, cutting me off, as I try to go about my necessary duties (that's saying a lot). I have even been able to laugh and cry. I don't know why, but for the last couple of months I haven't been able to do either, but just in the last couple of days both have come out so easily (though I suppose for a macho-man like me the crying should not be so easily admitted to...especially given the circumstances, which I will not disclose). And both felt really good. It is, I have to admit, taking some adjustment on my own part because I think that I had gotten myself used to moping and the like, and for that matter hiding how I was really feeling lest everyone that I know try to either consult me or run away from me. I think that it may take some time for me to truly rip off that mask and begin again overwhelming people with the power of Kyle sunshine®, but at least I feel good inside, and that's what matters most. I guess.

I sound like friggen Stuart Smalley, I know, bare with me.