Egads. That post that I wrote and then deleted the other night is really, really bothering me. I have it in my off-line journal now and it sometimes stares at me. The thing is, I hate it when I censor myself, I want to be honest and truthful with the world, but that damn thing is just so hurtful to my step-father that I can't keep it up...even if he never reads this thing...But it also seems to me to be very disrespectful of anyone on this earth that might be co-dependent at some level, and I really don't want to make them feel like shit just because my step-father turned my promise to my mother that I'd look after him into a big, fat lie just so he could get his jollies or whatever...see, I'm getting angry again. But, again, I hate not saying what's on my mind, I hate holding back, I hate not saying what should be said -- even if I know that I'm the only one with balls or who cares enough to say what needs to be said. Crap.

I'm really conflicted here, but I still think it best not to re-post it.