I'm ads drunk as I've b een in a long time without passing out, so bare with me if I'm a bit fuzzy (or if my typing ain't up to par)...
I just want to say that Joe Millionaire kicked my ass back to the stone age tnight because I was honestly expecting Evan to pick Sarah. I wanted him to pick Zora, don't get me wrong, but I hoinestly thought he'd choose Sarah because, after all, we live in a world where instant gratification is king and true love is just a mirage. I would have cried at the end except for the fact that my tear ducts are, I think, dried up and unwilling to produce a single drop. My crying lately being more like the dry heaves... In any case, I think it's amazing that Evan picked Zora because, frankly, people just aren't apt to recognize that true love sort of thing these days. They really aren't. But he did. THat's frickin' awesome and I envy the hell out of him because had he not chosen Zora I would have hunted her ass down and told her about me and she would have loved me...no strings attached. But that's okay. Seeing two people that are so frickin' awesome together is alright by me because it helps me realize that there's hope for me. If only a sliver. But, man, I envy Evan...to find someone that he can connect with at such a soulful level who is willing and open to accpet and appreciate that connection is something that I've been missing my entire life...I wish I had that. I really do. Too many times I've had that sort of thing go on without anything come of it...my coming out of it lonely and hurt. But I'm bitching or something. I don't know.
Anyway, back to the crying thing, I think I'm going to rent a movie like What's eating Gilbert Grape or something that makes me ball my eyes out because I need to cry. I have so much to cry about and it's killing me that I can't wet a few tissues with my salty tears. I'm afraid though that I'm going to go bit overboard but that's okay considering or something. I don't know. Like I said, I'm drunk as a skunk sprayin' a monk so I should just shutup before I wake up tomorrow realizing that I've said something that I didn't really want to say in such a public place. Whatever. Dude.
I just want to say that Joe Millionaire kicked my ass back to the stone age tnight because I was honestly expecting Evan to pick Sarah. I wanted him to pick Zora, don't get me wrong, but I hoinestly thought he'd choose Sarah because, after all, we live in a world where instant gratification is king and true love is just a mirage. I would have cried at the end except for the fact that my tear ducts are, I think, dried up and unwilling to produce a single drop. My crying lately being more like the dry heaves... In any case, I think it's amazing that Evan picked Zora because, frankly, people just aren't apt to recognize that true love sort of thing these days. They really aren't. But he did. THat's frickin' awesome and I envy the hell out of him because had he not chosen Zora I would have hunted her ass down and told her about me and she would have loved me...no strings attached. But that's okay. Seeing two people that are so frickin' awesome together is alright by me because it helps me realize that there's hope for me. If only a sliver. But, man, I envy Evan...to find someone that he can connect with at such a soulful level who is willing and open to accpet and appreciate that connection is something that I've been missing my entire life...I wish I had that. I really do. Too many times I've had that sort of thing go on without anything come of it...my coming out of it lonely and hurt. But I'm bitching or something. I don't know.
Anyway, back to the crying thing, I think I'm going to rent a movie like What's eating Gilbert Grape or something that makes me ball my eyes out because I need to cry. I have so much to cry about and it's killing me that I can't wet a few tissues with my salty tears. I'm afraid though that I'm going to go bit overboard but that's okay considering or something. I don't know. Like I said, I'm drunk as a skunk sprayin' a monk so I should just shutup before I wake up tomorrow realizing that I've said something that I didn't really want to say in such a public place. Whatever. Dude.
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