Man oh man oh man...So I get home from spending a nice night at the bar talking with a friend and I turn on the television to the news. No big whoop. But the story that I turned to was this thing on a speed-dating night (you know, where people talk for three minutes and then move on to the next person) that was held at a local bar tonight. The first thought that entered my head was "I wish I would have known about that..." What am I thinking, what am I doing? Gott im himmel! Why would I think that, that is so not me. I am so not the kind of person that could talk to a person for a lousy three minutes and even pretend to think that maybe I'd go out with them or anything of the sort. Granted, I can honestly say that within two or three minutes of meeting someone I can rule most bad seeds out, no problem, but to think that I thought that such a thing was a good idea for me is ridiculous. Even if it was only for a moment and in a total lapse of judgement.

I mean, I had just got done talking a little bit about how people are too hung up on the superficialities of feeling good about themselves in relationships and how I'm one to feel that true feelings develop over time and not in a rushed scenario that people put relationships into these days and here I let that dirty little thought enter my brain. Sometimes I worry myself. I mean, I honestly believe that 99.9% of people in this world are misguided in love -- they look for someone that they feel comfortable with, someone that makes them feel good, someone that at that moment in time makes them giddy or whatever -- and that is exactly what this speed-dating thing plays upon. I know that there is so much more to love than thinking that my penis would feel real good inside that woman's vagina or that this woman likes to talk about the same things that I do or that that woman is someone that I should appreciate for being such a good girl or whatever, but I fell into the trap that society has laid, even though it was just for five seconds max, and I feel like I've betrayed myself as a result. My goodness, I mean, I'm looking for a real connection with someone at a sub-persona level that isn't just about the time and space that we find ourselves in but about the ages...someone that understands me, someone that can relate to me, someone that is like me and always will be because, let's face it, if I ever find someone that will accept me for who I am I better be damn sure that she will be with me until I'm eighty-six or older -- even through the rough times -- because I'm not going to be that guy that marries three or four women because I thought we got along swell while everything was going fine in my life. How the heck can someone even begin to approach any notion of the possibilty of that level of closeness in three mintues? THREE MINUTES!!! I know people that have spent twenty years together (my parents, most of my friends' parents, etc.) before they realized that they were not all that alike and that the nice talks and romps in the sack were nothing more than nice talks and romps in the sack -- not any kind of indication that they were soulmates or whatever but that they were not unhappy (maybe even happy) at some time with the way things were going and they didn't see how that would ever change. Three minutes is no time at all to be judging someone on how well suited they are to being with someone for the rest of their lives. Limit yourself to three minutes, or even three months or three years in some cases, and you'll probably pass up the good ones and end up going out on a real date with a schmuck. God knows that nobody's ever liked me after only three minutes of conversation and so any of the luckless ladies that would have passed me up on the timed date thing would've already judged me and passed me up for undateable...and would never really realize that they passed up a good guy for a good conversationalist, snazzy dresser, or a guy with a big bulge in his pants but a not so good a guy.

Whatever. I get worked up about the stupidest things...