There are people out there in the anti-war community that are angry at people like me that are no longer protesting the war. The post I made the other day about the war, I would think, states my thoughts about it pretty well, but other things in my life lately (a conversation with a friend last week as well as one at the dinner table this afternoon with my folks) have suggested that people don't really understand what I am talking about.
You see, I'm the stubbornest damn fool that's ever walked this earth. When I get my mind set on something that I want, think, desire, whatever, I focus like a laser beam on that something until I've done everything that I can to accomplish the goal in my mind. I think that that's an admirable trait...certainly that sort of stubbornness in another person draws me to them (in fact, I think it's one of the few traits that all girls that I've ever been interested in share)...and I am by no means ashamed of possessing it so strongly, even though it does me a lot of harm in life. It's a stubborness to principles mostly, but also a stubborness to not allow myself to think I'm wrong until I've been proved wrong -- whether it's about a person, an idea, or what have you. Although that stubborness, to some extent, keeps me close-minded, it allows me to hold on dearly to those things that are important to my identity (my faith, my ethic, my sense of being, etc.) and explore the world with an open mind. I realize that the juxtaposition of those two states of mindedness do not make sense to most people, but it does to me...I'm suddenly reminded of Homer's telling of Odysseus having himself tied to the mast of his ship so that he could listen to the Sirens' song without being drawn to his own self-destruction. In a sense, a literal one, he is tying himself down and not allowing himself the freedom of movement, but at the same time, because he is tied down he has the ability to experience a song that no man had before had heard and lived to tell about. There is a down side and an up side to it.
In any case, in my stubbornness, I have discovered many things about the world, primarily this: There are some things you can change and others that you cannot. It seems elementary at first glance, but looking out at the world, it seems to be one of those ideas that most people don't acknowledge on a regular enough basis. There are plenty of people that are good at changing things when they can and plenty of people that are capable of accepting the things that they cannot change, but very people have a very keen sense to tell the difference between the two. You see, that's the most important thing to know -- the difference between the two. Being able to convince people to change their minds, being able to move mountains, whatever, is a great ability to possess, but try to convince every person and move every mountain and you are bound to come across an obstacle that cannot be altered. Not being able to discover this in due time will lead to pain and suffering -- the wasted effort to change things sapping you of your energy and spirit. Conversely, there are those that are good at accepting when things aren't going their way. They can forgive and forget without so much as a single harsh thought or memory, they are capable of letting go of anything without feeling a sense of failure or what have you. But too often people let go before they should. Sometimes they give up the fight before they really should have. Sometimes they deny themselves greatness because they threw their arms in the air a tad too quickly.
I make it sound as though there are two different types of people, but I think we all possess both of these abilities, some of us one or the other to greater extents. But the thing that most people do not possess so much is the ability to tell which side of the dichotomy to lean on in any given situation. I feel that this is one of those things that I am good at. I can fight and fight and fight for something, fight stubbornly until my hands are blistered and bleeding, and yet let go without a bit of lost pride when it becomes evident that it's not going to do me any good. This has been the finest lesson I've learned in life and I think that a lot of prudishness comes from my having learned it. When there's a chance, a reasonable chance, for something to go my way, I will do anything and everything to try and acheive it...but I recognize when things have reached that sort of proverbial point of no return. And once I cross it, I see the futility of trying any more...even if I really want to. And so, because of that stubborness to never admit to my being wrong, I give up and have no hard feelings about doing so.
Such is my stance on the war. There ain't nothing that can be said or done now to stop it...so there's no point in trying. We are doing it, we have become that sort of nation that rushes into pre-emptive wars with no real popular support from the people of the world and there isn't a damn thing that will change it. We have destroyed buildings, destroyed lives, and there is not a single thing that can be done to undo that. Our "president" has made up his mind and there is nothing that can be said or done to change it. Nothing. And so protesting the war is futile. It really is. That doesn't mean that you have to like the fact that we're at war, it doesn't mean that you have to support it, but it does mean that there is little that any protesting will do. Seriously. The best that you can do is pray that all turns out well, to hope that things do not go badly for any of us.
Sometimes things get to be completely out our individual control, even those things that affect us directly, the greatest lesson in life is to find that ability within yourself to recognize that moment and listen to yourself.
You see, I'm the stubbornest damn fool that's ever walked this earth. When I get my mind set on something that I want, think, desire, whatever, I focus like a laser beam on that something until I've done everything that I can to accomplish the goal in my mind. I think that that's an admirable trait...certainly that sort of stubbornness in another person draws me to them (in fact, I think it's one of the few traits that all girls that I've ever been interested in share)...and I am by no means ashamed of possessing it so strongly, even though it does me a lot of harm in life. It's a stubborness to principles mostly, but also a stubborness to not allow myself to think I'm wrong until I've been proved wrong -- whether it's about a person, an idea, or what have you. Although that stubborness, to some extent, keeps me close-minded, it allows me to hold on dearly to those things that are important to my identity (my faith, my ethic, my sense of being, etc.) and explore the world with an open mind. I realize that the juxtaposition of those two states of mindedness do not make sense to most people, but it does to me...I'm suddenly reminded of Homer's telling of Odysseus having himself tied to the mast of his ship so that he could listen to the Sirens' song without being drawn to his own self-destruction. In a sense, a literal one, he is tying himself down and not allowing himself the freedom of movement, but at the same time, because he is tied down he has the ability to experience a song that no man had before had heard and lived to tell about. There is a down side and an up side to it.
In any case, in my stubbornness, I have discovered many things about the world, primarily this: There are some things you can change and others that you cannot. It seems elementary at first glance, but looking out at the world, it seems to be one of those ideas that most people don't acknowledge on a regular enough basis. There are plenty of people that are good at changing things when they can and plenty of people that are capable of accepting the things that they cannot change, but very people have a very keen sense to tell the difference between the two. You see, that's the most important thing to know -- the difference between the two. Being able to convince people to change their minds, being able to move mountains, whatever, is a great ability to possess, but try to convince every person and move every mountain and you are bound to come across an obstacle that cannot be altered. Not being able to discover this in due time will lead to pain and suffering -- the wasted effort to change things sapping you of your energy and spirit. Conversely, there are those that are good at accepting when things aren't going their way. They can forgive and forget without so much as a single harsh thought or memory, they are capable of letting go of anything without feeling a sense of failure or what have you. But too often people let go before they should. Sometimes they give up the fight before they really should have. Sometimes they deny themselves greatness because they threw their arms in the air a tad too quickly.
I make it sound as though there are two different types of people, but I think we all possess both of these abilities, some of us one or the other to greater extents. But the thing that most people do not possess so much is the ability to tell which side of the dichotomy to lean on in any given situation. I feel that this is one of those things that I am good at. I can fight and fight and fight for something, fight stubbornly until my hands are blistered and bleeding, and yet let go without a bit of lost pride when it becomes evident that it's not going to do me any good. This has been the finest lesson I've learned in life and I think that a lot of prudishness comes from my having learned it. When there's a chance, a reasonable chance, for something to go my way, I will do anything and everything to try and acheive it...but I recognize when things have reached that sort of proverbial point of no return. And once I cross it, I see the futility of trying any more...even if I really want to. And so, because of that stubborness to never admit to my being wrong, I give up and have no hard feelings about doing so.
Such is my stance on the war. There ain't nothing that can be said or done now to stop it...so there's no point in trying. We are doing it, we have become that sort of nation that rushes into pre-emptive wars with no real popular support from the people of the world and there isn't a damn thing that will change it. We have destroyed buildings, destroyed lives, and there is not a single thing that can be done to undo that. Our "president" has made up his mind and there is nothing that can be said or done to change it. Nothing. And so protesting the war is futile. It really is. That doesn't mean that you have to like the fact that we're at war, it doesn't mean that you have to support it, but it does mean that there is little that any protesting will do. Seriously. The best that you can do is pray that all turns out well, to hope that things do not go badly for any of us.
Sometimes things get to be completely out our individual control, even those things that affect us directly, the greatest lesson in life is to find that ability within yourself to recognize that moment and listen to yourself.
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