To the people filling my e-mail box with spam:

My name is not pques@yahoo.com, if you do not know that my name would not contain the "@" symbol, you probably do not have a right to e-mail me. I do not own a house so, no, I am not interested in getting a new mortgage. I do not want to buy any of the ex-drug-dealer houses that you are offering to list me. No, I do not want to purchase a rottisserrie, any herbal supplements, or any such crap. No Mr. Vuyo Masondo, Mr. Charles Nwachukwui, and Ms. Mamie Johnson, I am not interested in giving you my checking account information so that you might deposit larger sums of money into it. I check urban legend webpages for any "shocking but true" story that I receive and know damn well that most of them so shocking they're not at all true. I do not believe you when I say that I can lose 30 punds in 30 days by giving you money. I am sure that I could find someone to sleep with tonight on your website, but, really, I'm not all that interested. I am happy that little Jenny is now 18, however, I am not really all that interested in watching her take three guys at once. My penis is alright in size, and besides, I don't use it enough to want to bother in enlarging it. Being a boy, I would much rather have smaller breasts than larger ones. I do not want to see your "cumtastical explosionistic ultrajaculatory escapades".

Hell, I really don't even want any jokes.

Does anyone out there actually read any of these things? I've taken to it a bit lately, saving some of the more ridiculous ones. It's fucking retarded some of them.