I finally got to go karaoke again tonight. It was only one song, but at least it was something. I've come to the realization that I need to do that, that it's good for me. I am a shy, shy, shy person and I am constantly trying to fight the desire to slink back into the corner of the room and try to avoid people, to avoid confrontation and whatever else. I just don't like being in the limelight...at all. If it is at all possible, I am too humble.

But for whatever reason -- probably love of music -- I have no problem getting up in front of a large group of drunken strangers and singing. I'm not all that good, not so bad as to get people to cover their ears, but good enough to have confidence in myself. And that's what's good about it for me, I think. I am a very confident person but, for whatever reason, I don't feel comfortable showing that confidence anywhere...but at the bar. Go figure. And I have found that ever since I first got up there and sang, that the other areas of my life have gotten better...I think as a result.

And so I feel this need to do it...for my own benefit and growth. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do it too much lately. No one will go with me. I've gone from once a week or so to, like, once a month and it's affecting me. It's weird that something so lame as karaoke would mean so much to me, I know, but it does. Anyway, I was able to go out with others that were doing so -- well, not really, but it was a birthday "party" at a bar that happened to have karaoke tonight -- and I feel much better. thank you very much.