My favorite activity of the year here where I live is Festival...what is called the largest all-volunteer festival of the arts in the country. It is pretty damn cool. Several stages are set up around town where performances are held every forty-five minutes or so, there are art exhibits, art booths, and, most importantly, food booths set up by local churches and groups. It's not the usual hot dogs and crap that one might expect...well, some of the lamer churches do do that...but there's some fantastic stuff from all over the world. I live in a community large enough to be diverse and have Greeks and Bosnians and Arabs and Asians...and all their food. I stuff myself silly on chicken Tikka each year...and then move on to some other foriegn foods. It's incredible.

But my excitement is short-lived...because every year it seems I end up having to go down there by myself. Today I went after calling people. Some of them couldn't go because of work or having to pack, but others were going and just didn't want to include me in their time. And so I walked down there and got my food, did some people watching, and left...

Yeah, I know it's a sad existence that I lead. But I've come to the point of not caring...I am a good person and if people don't like me, they can go fuck themselves. And I have to have that attitude unfortunately, because if I didn't...I'd be back in the place that I've been able to avoid for months now.

I don't mean that about my friends fucking themselves...I'm sure there's a fine reason why I wasn't invited along. It's just it gets on my nerves sometimes when there always seems to be something else, you know? And it's made worse by the fact that the one person I would have loved to go down there are share the experience with isn't around right now. There were too many couples down there, too many groups of friends. I think I got jealous.