Suicide sucks. I know that seems obvious, but lately it's been playing a part in my life because a couple of people in my life have had friends commit it and it's affecting me. I've never known anyone that's done it, nor even attempted it as far as I know, so this is a new thing for me and it's freaking me out. Like my deutschefreundin, a friend of hers recently checked into the YMCA for a couple days and ended up hanging himself. She doesn't know why, nobody does, and for a little while she was terrified by thoughts of what must have been going through his head while he went through the process of checking in, waiting, and going through the deed. It's all she could talk about. She had no idea he was even upset, let alone so upset to take it to this extreme. A girl on WWDN just went through the same thing too...except it was a closer friend and she's the last person he talked to and she's the one that found the body. She said many of the same things.
I can't imagine being in that position, having a friend do that, especially one that I talk to often and deeply and never knew anything was wrong. I mean, how can someone bottle those sorts of feelings up so tight? It would be one thing if they were a recluse or had no friends to talk to, but I know that if ever I felt that way a friend would be able to talk me out of it no problem...just knowing that someone cares would be enough to put away any desire to destroy myself. I think. THings might suck still, but at least being able to talk to someone would give me hope, no? So why don't these people do it?
Both of the people that I've listened to have said that they feel somewhat guilty for having not been able to stop them...they have both said that if their friends had talked to them about their problems that they would have been willing and able to lift them out of that dark, dark place. But they weren't given that chance. WHich I think is one of the things that makes suicide so incredibly selfish and evil...that it can do that to someone else, especially since the ones that it hurts the most are the ones that love you the most. I don't know.
I guess it just goes to show how much we, as people, need friends. Without them, without open channels of communication and the like, we are capable of doing really bad things.
I can't imagine being in that position, having a friend do that, especially one that I talk to often and deeply and never knew anything was wrong. I mean, how can someone bottle those sorts of feelings up so tight? It would be one thing if they were a recluse or had no friends to talk to, but I know that if ever I felt that way a friend would be able to talk me out of it no problem...just knowing that someone cares would be enough to put away any desire to destroy myself. I think. THings might suck still, but at least being able to talk to someone would give me hope, no? So why don't these people do it?
Both of the people that I've listened to have said that they feel somewhat guilty for having not been able to stop them...they have both said that if their friends had talked to them about their problems that they would have been willing and able to lift them out of that dark, dark place. But they weren't given that chance. WHich I think is one of the things that makes suicide so incredibly selfish and evil...that it can do that to someone else, especially since the ones that it hurts the most are the ones that love you the most. I don't know.
I guess it just goes to show how much we, as people, need friends. Without them, without open channels of communication and the like, we are capable of doing really bad things.
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