It is funny how love works sometimes. Too often in my life I have known a girl and known her to be very good for me and me very good for her...but she didn't see it. Sometimes, on rare occasions, others saw the same connectedness/perfection between us that I have seen...sometimes it probably worked in the opposite direction too I guess. *sigh*
The problem rests, I think, in the way that the girls that I find myself interested in are often interested in other guys at the time. Not dating, necessarily (though one has been married...which sucks), but just pining away for some guy out there that isn't me...isn't even like me really which makes it that much tougher. Blinded by, or fixated on, the light that of that boy that she can't see my glimmer, even though it may even be brighter. Who's to say? It's sad though and I am forced, more often than not, to sit on the sidelines and wait for her to open her eyes and realize that I'm here and waiting. Too often the frustration wears and I walk away, or at least give up hope, settling for friendship or whatever is left. It is sad, watching someone that I know I could have something with if only she'd give me a shot, wasting away staring starry-eyed at some other guy who can't appreciate her for everything that I do. This is the skipping album that makes up my love life...from the time I frst became interested in girls.
I don't know if it is my fault, if it's my lack of aggression or what have you, my inability to go out there and get the girl or whatever, or what, but it plays out over and over and over again. Perhaps its the role of the forever nice guy in our society.
Too many friendships that I have today are nothing more than failed attempts at starting some sort of romantic relationship with a girl. And to say that most of my friends are female only makes my inadequacies that much more evident. *sigh* But that is what I do, that is where I can go. I have always felt that my "one" would come from a pre-existing friendship, that one day a friend would turn to me and say "you and I would make a great team" and I would grin from ear to ear and we would live forever in bliss, happy til old age, complete is being friends and more than friends all at the same time. I still believe that to this day. I have to, because it is all I can do, it's all I can hope for. And, actually, I believe that it's the best way in a way. If given time to nuture itself and grow at its own pace, I think that it can be the most beautiful kind of love.
I just wish that one of these times that I might be at the right place at the right time, ready to be seen as what I could be when a girl takes her eyes off of her hopeless one. Or maybe, even better, outshine whoever it is that she has her eyes set on.
The problem rests, I think, in the way that the girls that I find myself interested in are often interested in other guys at the time. Not dating, necessarily (though one has been married...which sucks), but just pining away for some guy out there that isn't me...isn't even like me really which makes it that much tougher. Blinded by, or fixated on, the light that of that boy that she can't see my glimmer, even though it may even be brighter. Who's to say? It's sad though and I am forced, more often than not, to sit on the sidelines and wait for her to open her eyes and realize that I'm here and waiting. Too often the frustration wears and I walk away, or at least give up hope, settling for friendship or whatever is left. It is sad, watching someone that I know I could have something with if only she'd give me a shot, wasting away staring starry-eyed at some other guy who can't appreciate her for everything that I do. This is the skipping album that makes up my love life...from the time I frst became interested in girls.
I don't know if it is my fault, if it's my lack of aggression or what have you, my inability to go out there and get the girl or whatever, or what, but it plays out over and over and over again. Perhaps its the role of the forever nice guy in our society.
Too many friendships that I have today are nothing more than failed attempts at starting some sort of romantic relationship with a girl. And to say that most of my friends are female only makes my inadequacies that much more evident. *sigh* But that is what I do, that is where I can go. I have always felt that my "one" would come from a pre-existing friendship, that one day a friend would turn to me and say "you and I would make a great team" and I would grin from ear to ear and we would live forever in bliss, happy til old age, complete is being friends and more than friends all at the same time. I still believe that to this day. I have to, because it is all I can do, it's all I can hope for. And, actually, I believe that it's the best way in a way. If given time to nuture itself and grow at its own pace, I think that it can be the most beautiful kind of love.
I just wish that one of these times that I might be at the right place at the right time, ready to be seen as what I could be when a girl takes her eyes off of her hopeless one. Or maybe, even better, outshine whoever it is that she has her eyes set on.
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