A reprint of a post I just made at WWDN:
I hope to God she doesn't know of the existence of this site...but she's in Disney World right now, so I don't think it matters...hopefully. I'll probably delete later.
A female friend of mine got married this weekend and I was not invited. Not as close friends were invited, but not me. When I'd say something about it, my friend would get puppy dog eyes and apologize...never offering an excuse or anything. I just got the impression that I wasn't as close as I thought I was, though I did tell myself that maybe there just wasn't enough room at a smallish wedding for me.
But then I found out the real reason. Pestering a mutual friend and playing the whole "I can't tell you but if you guess I can nod" game that I really, really hate, I found out that the reason I wasn't invited is because she had feelings for me somewhere in the past, and they're still lingering a bit. She and I went to the same elementary school, to the same high school and then seperated as I graduated two years before me. To tell you the truth, I didn't really even know her back then. Our paths crossed, sure, but we weren't friends...I knew her name, I knew a little bit about her, and that was the extent of it. Well, six years pass and I go to work one day and see her there. I recognized her, but couldn't put a name to the face and it wasn't for a couple days that we had the opportunity to get re-acquainted. She was newly engaged I found out, and she was going to school to get her masters...and blah blah blah.
We ate together along with a couple other friends a couple days a week, planned on meeting up after work but never did, and that sort of thing. I guess you'd have to classify us as work friends. I never thought of her as anything but a friend, I never thought she thought of me as anything but a friend -- given that she was engaged and all.
But I was wrong. I go into detail because the only time and place that she could have had a crush on me so intensely as to not be able to invite me to her wedding was --unless it was while she was engaged...and she's not that kind of girl. I don't think, nor do I want to. If that's the case that the crush was in high school, it must have been something major for the uneasiness to carry on to now -- eight years later. It had to have been heartbreaking to her that I never asked her out or even really paid any attention to her. Hell, I get this feeling that I'm quite possibly her "one that got away" or something...
And now everything is weird. She doesn't know that I know this, and I don't want her to know that I know this. I don't want to bring it up, I don't want it to slip out, and most certainly I don't want to be there driving a wedge in between her marriage if it's still the case that there are some feelings still there...and I can't help but think there might be -- if there wasn't, I probably would have been at the wedding, no?
In any case, I just wanted to share that because I think it points to the need for friends to open and honest about their feelings for one another...Had she said something to me way back when, or even when we became re-aquainted, then things could have been talked out and the misunderstandings of my not being invited to her wedding missed. But as it is, there is this tension in our friendship now, and there will always be with it cemented in her marriage.
I hope to God she doesn't know of the existence of this site...but she's in Disney World right now, so I don't think it matters...hopefully. I'll probably delete later.
A female friend of mine got married this weekend and I was not invited. Not as close friends were invited, but not me. When I'd say something about it, my friend would get puppy dog eyes and apologize...never offering an excuse or anything. I just got the impression that I wasn't as close as I thought I was, though I did tell myself that maybe there just wasn't enough room at a smallish wedding for me.
But then I found out the real reason. Pestering a mutual friend and playing the whole "I can't tell you but if you guess I can nod" game that I really, really hate, I found out that the reason I wasn't invited is because she had feelings for me somewhere in the past, and they're still lingering a bit. She and I went to the same elementary school, to the same high school and then seperated as I graduated two years before me. To tell you the truth, I didn't really even know her back then. Our paths crossed, sure, but we weren't friends...I knew her name, I knew a little bit about her, and that was the extent of it. Well, six years pass and I go to work one day and see her there. I recognized her, but couldn't put a name to the face and it wasn't for a couple days that we had the opportunity to get re-acquainted. She was newly engaged I found out, and she was going to school to get her masters...and blah blah blah.
We ate together along with a couple other friends a couple days a week, planned on meeting up after work but never did, and that sort of thing. I guess you'd have to classify us as work friends. I never thought of her as anything but a friend, I never thought she thought of me as anything but a friend -- given that she was engaged and all.
But I was wrong. I go into detail because the only time and place that she could have had a crush on me so intensely as to not be able to invite me to her wedding was --unless it was while she was engaged...and she's not that kind of girl. I don't think, nor do I want to. If that's the case that the crush was in high school, it must have been something major for the uneasiness to carry on to now -- eight years later. It had to have been heartbreaking to her that I never asked her out or even really paid any attention to her. Hell, I get this feeling that I'm quite possibly her "one that got away" or something...
And now everything is weird. She doesn't know that I know this, and I don't want her to know that I know this. I don't want to bring it up, I don't want it to slip out, and most certainly I don't want to be there driving a wedge in between her marriage if it's still the case that there are some feelings still there...and I can't help but think there might be -- if there wasn't, I probably would have been at the wedding, no?
In any case, I just wanted to share that because I think it points to the need for friends to open and honest about their feelings for one another...Had she said something to me way back when, or even when we became re-aquainted, then things could have been talked out and the misunderstandings of my not being invited to her wedding missed. But as it is, there is this tension in our friendship now, and there will always be with it cemented in her marriage.
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