I had a conversation on the telephone today about "preppy" people and my ever so strong disdain for them. I've been think about it constantly ever since (and for the past few days because of another conversation). In any case, I wrote the following as part of an e-mail to the person that I was talking to and I want to share it here on my blog...the ideas are the same, more or less, with my post of 24 hours ago, but this better articulates my thinking in these regards so I'm going to post it separately from the previous:

I am too trusting a human being. I want to trust everyone and I tend to unless I can build up barriers that prevent me from allowing myself to. The main barrier that I have is my cynicism...which lends itself quite nicely to my ability to not let fake people into my life. By "fake" I mean those people that are one way but present themselves as something other than that.

Everyone that I care about is someone that doesn't try to hide behind some mask and not allow themselves to be known by other people...Preppy people are not like that. They dress up in expensive clothes, cologne, wear uniform hair, and go out into the world trying to portray themselves as people that they are not. They act nice when their hearts are mean. They act innocent when they are dirty as sin. They act lovingly when they are filled with spite and anger. They act beautiful when they are ugly.

The thing is -- we are all mean, we are all dirty as sin, we are all filled with anger and spite, and we are all ugly. That is part of being human...I know you know the story of Adam and Eve. I see through their act and it pisses me off royally that they try to show themselves as anything but. I mean, really. When people try to hide the obvious from me, I tend to have the reverse reaction that they expect...the expectations that they receive from so many. I'm not talking about little (or even big) lies founded in guilt or shame or shyness or whatever...I'm talking hiding their entire essence behind some fake persona.

Suddenly the old saying pops into my head: "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is."

And so it leaves me not trusting a huge chunk of humanity because they reek of bogusness. It isn't just preppies that I despise either...it's anyone that forces themselves into some sort of shell -- goths and emos for instance -- but preppies I hate more than anyone because they take the most from me. You don't even know how many times I have lost a girl to a prep who was able to smoothly tell lies and make himself out to be better than he is when, in reality, I honestly possess many of the characteristics that he was feining and she was falling for. I have lost jobs and friends to them too for the very same reasons. I am, more or less, spiteful out of jealousy. But it goes beyond that...I am also jealous of their ability to spew crap out into the world and make people believe them because, frankly, it's an ability that I lack completely. But I'm okay in being jealous...because I know that it's the moral high ground in this instance. I am standing on the top of the hill looking down and seeing them all in an orgiastic carousal knowing that it's bad but a part of me wanting to join in because I know it's probably a lot of fun too...and, most importantly, it's "normal".

I wish I was normal. I wish that I could throw all caution to the wind and live life vicariously without being weighted down by guilt or ethics or faith or whatever. I wish I could fit in somewhere. I wish that I was ordinary...but I'm not. That's something that I have come to grips with...but it doesn't mean that I sometimes wish I was.

And it's people like that that I am attracted to. I think it's safe to say that each and every one of my friends in life have been the same way...at least that's how I see them. They are each abnormal, but in the good way. Instead of being merely ordinary, they are extra-ordinary. And I see these people and I latch onto them because I've come to realize that they are not so abundant...and it seems that our numbers are decreasing every day in a world super-saturated by a media that wants us all to be the same for its own nefarious reasons. And as such, I fight tooth and nail to prevent them from falling victim to the call of the wild.