Here's a guy that makes sense, in a Ashcroftonian sort of way:

From The Ottawa Citizen

A Quebec woodsman who wanted a black bear as a pet, set out Tuesday morning and snatched a young cub from the Gatineau River

...

The bear managed to break free from his captor eight times by clawing at him. He tried in vain to swim to shore, only to be dragged back out into the river.

To wear out the bear, Mr. Ryan started running him over with the Jet Ski, forcing the cub's head under water.

The 55-year-old woodsman got his best grip on the cub by holding it upside down by one of its hind legs.

He then started dunking him again and again under water in a cruel attempt to drain the cub's energy.

The cub was now moaning, desperately trying to breathe.

...

This time, to stop the cub from jumping off again, he tied a rope around one of its hind legs and kept one hand on the leash, the other on the handle bars.

With the bear secured, he turned around and drove to a public landing in the heart of Wakefield. He figured a cub on the back of a Jet Ski would make a good picture for the town's newspaper.

[the bear gets away again]

Mr. Ryan jumped off the Jet Ski and tackled the bear as it tried to scramble up the bank.

"Then I tied him again and dunked him again to get the energy out of him. I tied him pretty good this time. He was so tired out," Mr. Ryan said.

...

Mr. Ryan grabbed the bear by a hind leg again and was dragging it home when the MRC des Collines police stopped him, demanding that he let the cub go.

And, when all was said and done, this is what the guy has to say for himself:

"I was never mean to the bear. There was a couple of times I wanted to hit him over the head with a pipe or something but I didn't do that."