blech
Friday night, I'm home and no one's called. The usual. Anyway, I'm finally finishing up a project I began a couple of weeks ago and that is re-inserting most of the posts that I have deleted over the past year and a half. Not all of them, just most of them (some of them were just dumb and deserved to be deleted..lol). Most of them have to deal with my little quarter-life crisis that played out so dramatically on this blog and also with feelings with this person and that...blah blah blah. Nothing provacative really, just honest.
After reading and then posting that Onion story a couple weeks back about the mom finding the blog thing I started thinking about it. And really, there's no reason that I should be ashamed of anything that I posted here. Yeah, some of it is embarrassing for me (and probably even for readers), but I think that there's more to gain from them putting them back up than keeping them off in my "offline journal of shameful and embarrassing posts". In looking at the stats of this site, I've found that there are people going back and reading the archives...and the fact of the matter is that there can be a lot learned back there. I went through some really horrible times back then and I think it's good that people can read them and see how bad it was for me and how well I came back to be the charming and dashing young stud that I am right now. *snicker* But seriously, I think it's good to present all that, well, *shit* honestly...even if it makes me look like I was losing my mind or a horrible person or whatever (and for the most part, I probably was from time to time). *sigh*
I also want this blog to act as my journal of sorts. A historical journal of this time in my life from July of 2002 to now to some future time when I pull the plug. I con't want a censored history of myself. I want to be able to look back at some of those times and see how much better I am now, or at least be able to say when I'm down "gee, I've been through worse..." Of course, not every post that I'm returning to the blog is about my episode or whatever, some are just moments where I said too much or whatever...but, frankly, there's nothing that I've felt in those regards that I feel ashamed of or regret, so with the re-emergence of the bad come the saucy or whatever. hehe..not saucy. My life is by NO MEANS saucy. ;)
I do want to say something that embarrasses me a lot...I swore an awful lot back then. I don't think I really realized it. Holy crap. I mean, I still do sometimes when I'm mad about stuff, but it's a little over the top. I guess the fact that the people I talk to the most these days don't swear has really helped me out with that. That's a good thing.
After reading and then posting that Onion story a couple weeks back about the mom finding the blog thing I started thinking about it. And really, there's no reason that I should be ashamed of anything that I posted here. Yeah, some of it is embarrassing for me (and probably even for readers), but I think that there's more to gain from them putting them back up than keeping them off in my "offline journal of shameful and embarrassing posts". In looking at the stats of this site, I've found that there are people going back and reading the archives...and the fact of the matter is that there can be a lot learned back there. I went through some really horrible times back then and I think it's good that people can read them and see how bad it was for me and how well I came back to be the charming and dashing young stud that I am right now. *snicker* But seriously, I think it's good to present all that, well, *shit* honestly...even if it makes me look like I was losing my mind or a horrible person or whatever (and for the most part, I probably was from time to time). *sigh*
I also want this blog to act as my journal of sorts. A historical journal of this time in my life from July of 2002 to now to some future time when I pull the plug. I con't want a censored history of myself. I want to be able to look back at some of those times and see how much better I am now, or at least be able to say when I'm down "gee, I've been through worse..." Of course, not every post that I'm returning to the blog is about my episode or whatever, some are just moments where I said too much or whatever...but, frankly, there's nothing that I've felt in those regards that I feel ashamed of or regret, so with the re-emergence of the bad come the saucy or whatever. hehe..not saucy. My life is by NO MEANS saucy. ;)
I do want to say something that embarrasses me a lot...I swore an awful lot back then. I don't think I really realized it. Holy crap. I mean, I still do sometimes when I'm mad about stuff, but it's a little over the top. I guess the fact that the people I talk to the most these days don't swear has really helped me out with that. That's a good thing.
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