blech

My spirit is boken. That's not to say that I'm depressed or anything of the sort, just that I have no motivation or desire to do anything. It sucks, because I really need to get off my arse and do something with my life...but it all feels like it's on pause or something. Every job I apply to turns up nothing. Everything I put up for sale online remains unsold, except CDs that sell for barely enough to cover the costs of sending them. Friends don't call me. Girls don't find me attractive. Even my cat is pissy with me lately.

It's as if my life is caught in some dense fog...I know where I have to go, and I know how to get there, but the fact that I can't see anything and so I don't see any of the progress that I am making with my life, and therefore can't be sure if I am even making any leaves me second-guessing everything including my self-worth and direction. I guess I know that I'm not depressed in that I believe that I am moving forward with my life, I have hope, but that doesn't really help much when you really have nothing.

What I need is a good stiff breeze...something to wash away the miasma...a job or a phonecall or some girl wanting more from me than stupid friendship. I need something to make things clear to me.

...but like I said, I am unmotivated at this time and none of it is going to just cross my path now is it? A catch-22 if ever I saw one.

blech.