merger
The past week has been pretty hectic in relation to the last five months or so of my life. I've had a couple of interviews, gotten some stuff done, was able to finally read a book (Return of the King...so I could see the movie without guilt yesterday...and it was AWESOME), and lots of little boring things...
But what gets me is that in the grand scheme of things, in terms of my life past and future, I did nothing at all really. I spent maybe twenty hours or so being honestly productive. But I suppose twenty hours is about fifteen or so more hours than I have been able to get mysel doing something. In terms of baby steps, that's a pretty good sized one I suppose...but the timing is pretty dreadful. Yeah, I've had interviews and I've applied for jobs and the like, but really none of those things will produce fruit for at least another couple weeks due to the holidays. No one starts a job between Christmas and New Years, very few people even bother interviewing. Too many current workers are out of the office on holiday, and with days off here and there, there's absolutely no continuity.
That's not bad or anything, I guess in the whole forest view, because it may very well mean a very fast-paced start to the new year for me...with more interviews and maybe some sort of new job. That is good. But that is weeks out and it's sort of numbing to feel joy for that. But even though joy lacks, my hope is renewed. Hope is something that's been sort of diminished in my life as of late.
That's not true. I suppose in a sense all I've had to hold onto is hope. But not the immediate kind. The long-term stuff. Everything is long-term. What I'm going to have next summer, where I'm going to go next fall, what I'll be doing five years from now...and there's something good about that. I wonder, however, how the timing of all this is creating a bridge for me...the two week pause in life that begins now and runs through the first of the year creating a focal point that unites the long-term hope that has been flowing over my inner brim and the short-term hope that's been bone dry for months now. Anyway, I'm sorta happy right now, though moderately numb.
But what gets me is that in the grand scheme of things, in terms of my life past and future, I did nothing at all really. I spent maybe twenty hours or so being honestly productive. But I suppose twenty hours is about fifteen or so more hours than I have been able to get mysel doing something. In terms of baby steps, that's a pretty good sized one I suppose...but the timing is pretty dreadful. Yeah, I've had interviews and I've applied for jobs and the like, but really none of those things will produce fruit for at least another couple weeks due to the holidays. No one starts a job between Christmas and New Years, very few people even bother interviewing. Too many current workers are out of the office on holiday, and with days off here and there, there's absolutely no continuity.
That's not bad or anything, I guess in the whole forest view, because it may very well mean a very fast-paced start to the new year for me...with more interviews and maybe some sort of new job. That is good. But that is weeks out and it's sort of numbing to feel joy for that. But even though joy lacks, my hope is renewed. Hope is something that's been sort of diminished in my life as of late.
That's not true. I suppose in a sense all I've had to hold onto is hope. But not the immediate kind. The long-term stuff. Everything is long-term. What I'm going to have next summer, where I'm going to go next fall, what I'll be doing five years from now...and there's something good about that. I wonder, however, how the timing of all this is creating a bridge for me...the two week pause in life that begins now and runs through the first of the year creating a focal point that unites the long-term hope that has been flowing over my inner brim and the short-term hope that's been bone dry for months now. Anyway, I'm sorta happy right now, though moderately numb.
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