all things that go around, come around
So I'm having dinner with a couple friends last night and it dawned on me how unhappy so many people in my life are right now. One of my friends last night was just completely...joyless is the only word I can come up with. I mean, she is generally not the happiest person in the world, but lately it's like she can't find any joy in anything but herself...and then only when she's with her boyfriend. Then there's my roommate who I have already talked about too often on this here blog, but who I have not seen even smile in four or five months. Then there are my "friends" (though I guess my connection has been dwindling in the last six months or so) for whom all things revolve around the bar and themselves. Guys that go from girl to girl, guys that find joy only in hurting others emotionally or physically through their jackassish stunts, guys that are thrown for a loop if the fragile day to day itinerary is shifted one degree to either side of the status quo. It's depressing.
It's ironic because this time last year I'm sure I was the one that such things were being said about, or would if anyone I knew kept a blog. Now it's all turned around. *sigh* Of course, then it was me being a downer, one person among many to be lost in the sea of average happiness...but my current happiness (nor the happiness of a few in my life) is not enough to outweigh the misery of the many. It leaves for a sad landscape.
The last two weeks were a nice break however. Christmas brought the usual semi-cheer that develops out of the selfishness of the Christmas shopping season (that is probably the greatest perenniel Christmas miracle that there is); friends were more available from their usual full schedules of work; but the best thing was that I got to see someone who I haven't seen in awhile and she was able to put a smile on my face without even trying, just in the way that she relayed her thoughts and the way her face would light up involuntarily every now and then. But, she is gone again and the season is over and it's back to seeing things as they are again...and all I see is people's grumpiness. Oh well, I'll cope.
It's ironic because this time last year I'm sure I was the one that such things were being said about, or would if anyone I knew kept a blog. Now it's all turned around. *sigh* Of course, then it was me being a downer, one person among many to be lost in the sea of average happiness...but my current happiness (nor the happiness of a few in my life) is not enough to outweigh the misery of the many. It leaves for a sad landscape.
The last two weeks were a nice break however. Christmas brought the usual semi-cheer that develops out of the selfishness of the Christmas shopping season (that is probably the greatest perenniel Christmas miracle that there is); friends were more available from their usual full schedules of work; but the best thing was that I got to see someone who I haven't seen in awhile and she was able to put a smile on my face without even trying, just in the way that she relayed her thoughts and the way her face would light up involuntarily every now and then. But, she is gone again and the season is over and it's back to seeing things as they are again...and all I see is people's grumpiness. Oh well, I'll cope.
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