thinking out loud
Yeah, it was a rough day for me yesterday. I hate that. There was just too much fakeness that I witnessed yesterday, too much total fakeness. I can't handle it sometimes. Add that to the thoughts that already plague my mind and it just leads to this feeling of impending burst, where I have to get it all out somewhere, somehow. Like bleeding the mind. It was bad.
In any case, I read the last two posts and I really liked something I had said nd I wanted to expound. In the earlier post from yesterday I equated the selling out of one's sexuality and the selling out of one's faith. I Like that, I think there's some truth to that. And not just one's faith, but everything.
That's not to say that there are people out there that enjoy sex as a physical activity, no strings attached. But for most people, there are emotional ties. Very few people can have sex and not have feelings arise as the result. Whether they be exhuberance, guilt, shame, or happiness, there is going to be something. That says something about the act. It says something about the importance of sex in our lives.
To me, it's the same with religious beliefs, intellectual beliefs, emotions, and what have you. It's all the same. Sometimes you share them just to get somewhere -- to impress or to feel like you're in company. Sometimes you sell them out to get ahead or, again, to feel in company, to feel wanted, to somehow make yourself feel better about yourself. Other times you change them -- believe in something that you otherwise wouldn't believe -- because there's a pressure involved. Still other times you share them because you want to, to be open and sincere, to show trust, to show love. That last one is the only one that seems appropriate. To me anyway. And it's something that I hold true. People that know how I feel about God, know what I really feel, have had close intimate contact with me are the people that I care about, the people that I love (not to say that I don't love those that I haven't had close, intimate contact with...my father for instance...). I believe in this. I will not sell out, I will not allow myself to fall into that trap of selling some part of myself to buy some self-respect. It paigns me to see others do so. I see oh so many do so. *sigh*
But I don't really understand how society has worked it out so that some of these aspects of human life are somehow less personal than others. I think most of us would agree that faith in God (if you have faith) is not something to be tossed aside lightly. Someone who has faith in Christ does not denounce that faith and instead report a Muslim faith just so he or she can get a job or so that someone will love them. Why, then, is it so easy for people to do the exact same thing with their sexuality? Throw it around in the hopes that they will be loved, throw it around so that they can feel good about themselves? I don't really understand.
I mean, I dare say it's the fault of our cultural influences...TV and magazines and just the day to day gossip between people tends to delude the sanctity of such things. It's part of the webbing in which we find ourselves spun. There's not a thing to be done about it, it's going to be spun that way for many, many years. That's the way of culture and society, it doesn't change very quickly. I for one, have always been a scapper, compelled to do things because it is against the will of society (or not compelled to do things because it is the will of society as the case may be), but I don't really understand how people can't see that they are being duped, how they can live with that. Really.
I don't know, everything's still a bit muddled in my head. So I will stop for now. I feel as though I'm on the trail of something good here and so I will probably be revisiting these thoughts now and then over the next couple of days. I think they are worth thinking about, even if they are not all that popular, mainstream, or otherwise hip and cool to think.
In any case, I read the last two posts and I really liked something I had said nd I wanted to expound. In the earlier post from yesterday I equated the selling out of one's sexuality and the selling out of one's faith. I Like that, I think there's some truth to that. And not just one's faith, but everything.
That's not to say that there are people out there that enjoy sex as a physical activity, no strings attached. But for most people, there are emotional ties. Very few people can have sex and not have feelings arise as the result. Whether they be exhuberance, guilt, shame, or happiness, there is going to be something. That says something about the act. It says something about the importance of sex in our lives.
To me, it's the same with religious beliefs, intellectual beliefs, emotions, and what have you. It's all the same. Sometimes you share them just to get somewhere -- to impress or to feel like you're in company. Sometimes you sell them out to get ahead or, again, to feel in company, to feel wanted, to somehow make yourself feel better about yourself. Other times you change them -- believe in something that you otherwise wouldn't believe -- because there's a pressure involved. Still other times you share them because you want to, to be open and sincere, to show trust, to show love. That last one is the only one that seems appropriate. To me anyway. And it's something that I hold true. People that know how I feel about God, know what I really feel, have had close intimate contact with me are the people that I care about, the people that I love (not to say that I don't love those that I haven't had close, intimate contact with...my father for instance...). I believe in this. I will not sell out, I will not allow myself to fall into that trap of selling some part of myself to buy some self-respect. It paigns me to see others do so. I see oh so many do so. *sigh*
But I don't really understand how society has worked it out so that some of these aspects of human life are somehow less personal than others. I think most of us would agree that faith in God (if you have faith) is not something to be tossed aside lightly. Someone who has faith in Christ does not denounce that faith and instead report a Muslim faith just so he or she can get a job or so that someone will love them. Why, then, is it so easy for people to do the exact same thing with their sexuality? Throw it around in the hopes that they will be loved, throw it around so that they can feel good about themselves? I don't really understand.
I mean, I dare say it's the fault of our cultural influences...TV and magazines and just the day to day gossip between people tends to delude the sanctity of such things. It's part of the webbing in which we find ourselves spun. There's not a thing to be done about it, it's going to be spun that way for many, many years. That's the way of culture and society, it doesn't change very quickly. I for one, have always been a scapper, compelled to do things because it is against the will of society (or not compelled to do things because it is the will of society as the case may be), but I don't really understand how people can't see that they are being duped, how they can live with that. Really.
I don't know, everything's still a bit muddled in my head. So I will stop for now. I feel as though I'm on the trail of something good here and so I will probably be revisiting these thoughts now and then over the next couple of days. I think they are worth thinking about, even if they are not all that popular, mainstream, or otherwise hip and cool to think.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home