the little things

It's always the stupid little things that make my heart grab onto another person. It's weird. I can work with someone, care about someone, befriend someone, even love someone and never really really feel for them until a certain moment comes to pass and almost always that certain moment entails seeing some stupid little thing that they find dear...something stupid and little that seperates them from everyone else.

I don't mean to be cryptic here, but I don't want to be too specific either. Suffice to say, there are people in my life that have wedged themselves deeper into my heart lately because I've witnessed some act, or seen some object that they possess, or heard them relay an act that was just so entirely personal...

Today I saw something that a friend had bought and it gave me the chills. It was just a stupid thing, bought here or there, but it was something that nobody I know but her would buy. In fact, nobody in her position in life would probably buy it and it just spoke volumes to me about the purity of her heart and inner beauty that radiates so brightly from her. An inner beauty that blinds me sometimes. When I saw it, it practically brought me to tears. I'm practically in tears reliving the moment in writing this. It was just so fucking beautiful...not in any aesthetic way...just in a plastic bag in the wind sorta way. An American Beauty sort of moment...one of those moments where there's just so much beauty that you just don't think your heart can take it anymore.

I don't tell people when I have these moments concerning them though, I feel way too self-conscious, as if it's unnaturally dorky or somehow unsettling...besides, I always fear that those for whom I have these feelings wouldn't believe me if I told them anyway...I'm not sure I'd believe someone if they told me they saw me radiating inner beauty or some such junk. It's the truth though.