you know you're getting older when...
I know I haven't posted much personal crap here (or much of anything) for the past couple weeks and like I said before, it's because I got a lot going through my head...weird stuff. No, not weird, just "different" stuff. Stuff that sort of freaks me out, stuff that makes me uncomfortable. Stuff that's, in a way I guess, embarrassing...not because it's embarassing, but because of what it means...that I'm getting old. Blech.
I've been fantasizing a lot lately. Not about the stuff I once fantasized about either...backpacking around the world, three-ways with super-models, being rich and powerful and that sort of thing. Not that stuff at all. Geez, I can't even bloody type this out...
Well, frankly I've been fantasizing about being a father. I know that's dorky and uncool or whatever, but I honestly have. To have a son that I can teach to throw a curve ball to (after I frantically try to learn how to throw a curve ball first), a daughter that I can have on my knee and tell stories about princesses in far off lands. That's what I want. That's all. I want so much to settle down and have a family and be responsible and all that stuff. I want to get a house and a dog and a minivan (though some sort of hybrid minivan of course...not that I think there's one on the market). I want a steady job. I want all that stuff. Ugh.
It scares me. It really, really scares me. I'm not supposed to be that guy, that guy's not supposed to peek his head into my life until I'm old...but I guess it means that I am.
Anyway, I guess that this sort of line of thought is why I've been sort of grumpy and ungiving on this here blog lately. It's something that I'm coming to grips with and I just can't help but think that it's introducing itself into my life a little early...before girls my age are really ready to drop the "bad-boys are dreamy" schtick and realize that I'm prime baby. Prime.
Oh well...I'm not going to go down that road tonight. :)
I've been fantasizing a lot lately. Not about the stuff I once fantasized about either...backpacking around the world, three-ways with super-models, being rich and powerful and that sort of thing. Not that stuff at all. Geez, I can't even bloody type this out...
Well, frankly I've been fantasizing about being a father. I know that's dorky and uncool or whatever, but I honestly have. To have a son that I can teach to throw a curve ball to (after I frantically try to learn how to throw a curve ball first), a daughter that I can have on my knee and tell stories about princesses in far off lands. That's what I want. That's all. I want so much to settle down and have a family and be responsible and all that stuff. I want to get a house and a dog and a minivan (though some sort of hybrid minivan of course...not that I think there's one on the market). I want a steady job. I want all that stuff. Ugh.
It scares me. It really, really scares me. I'm not supposed to be that guy, that guy's not supposed to peek his head into my life until I'm old...but I guess it means that I am.
Anyway, I guess that this sort of line of thought is why I've been sort of grumpy and ungiving on this here blog lately. It's something that I'm coming to grips with and I just can't help but think that it's introducing itself into my life a little early...before girls my age are really ready to drop the "bad-boys are dreamy" schtick and realize that I'm prime baby. Prime.
Oh well...I'm not going to go down that road tonight. :)
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