who wants to marry a red inked multi-ten-thousandaire?

Man. I gotta go to the wedding of a couple of friends in a couple of weeks and so have to, of course, buy a gift. Well, they registered with Target and Bed, Bath, and Beyond and so their guests can do their shopping online from their lists. This is the first time anyone I know has done that...

Anyway, they have their own little website on both those stores' websites and people can go and checkmark what they want. How cool is that?

So then it dawned on me...anyone out there want to get married so we can set up one of those things? After we get everything we can divide up, each of us getting half of it, and go our separate ways with divorce papers in hand. Heck, I'm 27 and I haven't been married and divorced once yet, let alone twice which seems to be all too common. It's about time to get a divorce under my belt and be normal...and get some cool free stuff. I wonder if Best Buy has a gift registry???

Oh, if you need an invitation, here you go (I can't believe there are e-card marriage proposals out there...though by the time you get to your third or fourth marriage it makes economical sense to do it that way, I guess).