life reset
I was just about to finally go to bed just now when I stepped outside for my usual before bed stroll around the house to absorb the night-time world of the boondocks...and I found myself thinking about how much my life has changed in the past month or so since I've moved up here to my folks place. It's as if I've hit some sort of reset button and I'm in the middle of a reboot. It's a good thing.
Life had gotten very monotonous over the past couple of years, living in apartments, working whatever jobs I could find, barely scraping by an existence...my social life stagnant and static. My 26th year was the same, more or less, as my 25th, which was the same as my 24th, which was the same as my...well, you get my point and it was just making me tired. Tired of everything. But I am more awake now in some weird way.
I am finding myself more open-minded about things, I am seeing opportunities as real opportunities, and I am feeling a drive to improve myself that I don't think I've really ever felt before. I hate using yuppie terminology, but I feel an almost "go get-um" sot of thing going on. Maybe it's just because having moved into my parents' basement without a job and no life has proven to be the rock bottom that I've been treading just above for so long, but it's as if now there's some sort of base for me to launch myself up from. I *want* more than I have in so long, and I feel as though I can acheive some of those wants.
It's kind of cool.
I've been really looking at for rent classifieds and I really truly think that I can afford a one-bedroom place for myself come November and I'm really looking forward to moving out with just my cat for a roommate again. I look at my bank account and see that even though there's not much there, I can really do something with what I do have. More importatly, for me at least, I see and meet people and I'm being less shy. I guess the way to put it is that I feel more self-confidence than I ever have.
I don't know. I'm dead tired (as my typing probably shows, though it doesn't help that the only light I'm typing by is the computer screen's) and I'll probably think about this as I go to sleep, so maybe I'll right mre tomorrow, and maybe it will be a little more coherent, but it's just one of those self-epiphanies that I wanted to get down right away.
Life had gotten very monotonous over the past couple of years, living in apartments, working whatever jobs I could find, barely scraping by an existence...my social life stagnant and static. My 26th year was the same, more or less, as my 25th, which was the same as my 24th, which was the same as my...well, you get my point and it was just making me tired. Tired of everything. But I am more awake now in some weird way.
I am finding myself more open-minded about things, I am seeing opportunities as real opportunities, and I am feeling a drive to improve myself that I don't think I've really ever felt before. I hate using yuppie terminology, but I feel an almost "go get-um" sot of thing going on. Maybe it's just because having moved into my parents' basement without a job and no life has proven to be the rock bottom that I've been treading just above for so long, but it's as if now there's some sort of base for me to launch myself up from. I *want* more than I have in so long, and I feel as though I can acheive some of those wants.
It's kind of cool.
I've been really looking at for rent classifieds and I really truly think that I can afford a one-bedroom place for myself come November and I'm really looking forward to moving out with just my cat for a roommate again. I look at my bank account and see that even though there's not much there, I can really do something with what I do have. More importatly, for me at least, I see and meet people and I'm being less shy. I guess the way to put it is that I feel more self-confidence than I ever have.
I don't know. I'm dead tired (as my typing probably shows, though it doesn't help that the only light I'm typing by is the computer screen's) and I'll probably think about this as I go to sleep, so maybe I'll right mre tomorrow, and maybe it will be a little more coherent, but it's just one of those self-epiphanies that I wanted to get down right away.
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