what a boy wants
I've been watching a lot of movies lately, movies about life and love and all that crap. It's all a guy can do when he's bored out of his skull living out in the boonies with no car to leave the boonies in. Anyway, when you're in the mindset that I've been in for the last month or two and watching movies where boys and girls find each other and all that crap, it tends to get you thinking and, well, it has...and I just want to write down what it is I'm looking for in a girl. There's absolutely no reason to comment on this, it's just one of those things that I want to write down for my own recollection years down the road, but I want to do so here, in a public place, because I think it's good to hear people say...for other guys to see that they're not alone, for girls to see that guys like me (and us) do exist.
The thing that I most look for in a girl is a girl that brings to my life a new perspective of the world and myself. I want a girl that is like me in some regards, but is totally not me (in fact, opposite) in other regards. I want a girl who has a different take on life, a different reference point from which to view the world so that I might gain a fuller perspective of life myself...in a way forcing me to become a more complete person. In that way, I want a girl that changes me, makes me a better person, draws out of me those bits of my personality that might make life that much more enjoyable to live. I want a girl who makes me comfortable with who I am while at the same time, calms my nervousness and all those irritating quirks and annoyances that I have that come along with my introspective shyness. I want to be more outgoing, more open, more willing to express my inner-most felt thoughts and emotions. I want a girl around whom I feel safe enough to let down my guard, drop the walls, and be myself in my entirety. I want a girl who can look past my bad traits and see the good within, coaxing me out of my shell in a soft and gentle way, making more more complete...making me feel whole...loving me.
I want a girl that doesn't just take my bullshit at face value. I hate it when people laugh at my stupid jokes when they don't really think they're funny (and, let's face it, most of my jokes aren't...I know it better than anyone). I hate it when people take what I say as the gospel truth. I hate it when I am agreed with all the time. I hate it when people think of me as faultless and perfect and wonderful...or at least treat me to my face as though they think I am. I like to feel as though I have room to improve, room to grow, room to change, and to feel that maybe with someone else grow with her into someone bigger and better...she and I becoming something even bigger than the sum of our parts. I like to be challenged, I like to be questioned, I like to be thought of as fallible and, well, human...an imperfect human. I don't have that huge an ego and I hate having the one that I have be force-fed pitchforks full of manure. I like the real. I love the real.
I want a girl that will stand by me and be there for me and listen to me, not because she feels she needs to in order to sustain our relationship or gain my love, but because she wants to...because she has some inner need to do so. I want a girl that I can trust completely and who I can support and be by and listen to because I want to...just because. Because I love her. I don't want to feel compelled to love in order to keep her by my side, I want to love to have her by my side, no matter what. I want to want to carry her through the darkest alleys, beating up the biggest boogiemen that she might come across in life for no other reason than that I want to keep her safe, protect her, just because I love her.
I want somebody with whom I can spend time with and not feel compelled to do anything...just enjoying each others' company. I want a girl that has such a presence in my heart and mind that she just existing is as close, comfortable, and reassuring as she and I cuddled closely together under a blanket in front of a fireplace. I want to feel that togetherness, that oneness, without having to be with them physically. I want a girl who can bring a smile to my face just thinking about her.
I want a girl that is curious about the world and who would want to search out meaning and adventure with me. I want a girl who travels, not just geographically, but spirtually, emotionally, intellectually too. A girl that just wants to see how other people do things, wants to understand why other people think the way that they do. I want a girl that is constantly looking for a better way, constantly questioning the direction that her life is going, and constantly trying to improve her own life because she believes, as I do, that a life of static is not worth living.
I don't know. I just wanted to get that out. I've been realizing how bad I've been in the past at finding girls that fit that description and how much better I've gotten at finding girls like that more recently (at least the last two). In the past, I often found myself going after the wrong kind of girl, girls not good enough for me, but I feel as though I've pulled myself back on track...even if it's to find that all the trains I'm interested in taking are heading in a different direction. *sigh* Oh well, that's life I guess. I just hope that in realizing this, maybe I can move ahead.
The thing that I most look for in a girl is a girl that brings to my life a new perspective of the world and myself. I want a girl that is like me in some regards, but is totally not me (in fact, opposite) in other regards. I want a girl who has a different take on life, a different reference point from which to view the world so that I might gain a fuller perspective of life myself...in a way forcing me to become a more complete person. In that way, I want a girl that changes me, makes me a better person, draws out of me those bits of my personality that might make life that much more enjoyable to live. I want a girl who makes me comfortable with who I am while at the same time, calms my nervousness and all those irritating quirks and annoyances that I have that come along with my introspective shyness. I want to be more outgoing, more open, more willing to express my inner-most felt thoughts and emotions. I want a girl around whom I feel safe enough to let down my guard, drop the walls, and be myself in my entirety. I want a girl who can look past my bad traits and see the good within, coaxing me out of my shell in a soft and gentle way, making more more complete...making me feel whole...loving me.
I want a girl that doesn't just take my bullshit at face value. I hate it when people laugh at my stupid jokes when they don't really think they're funny (and, let's face it, most of my jokes aren't...I know it better than anyone). I hate it when people take what I say as the gospel truth. I hate it when I am agreed with all the time. I hate it when people think of me as faultless and perfect and wonderful...or at least treat me to my face as though they think I am. I like to feel as though I have room to improve, room to grow, room to change, and to feel that maybe with someone else grow with her into someone bigger and better...she and I becoming something even bigger than the sum of our parts. I like to be challenged, I like to be questioned, I like to be thought of as fallible and, well, human...an imperfect human. I don't have that huge an ego and I hate having the one that I have be force-fed pitchforks full of manure. I like the real. I love the real.
I want a girl that will stand by me and be there for me and listen to me, not because she feels she needs to in order to sustain our relationship or gain my love, but because she wants to...because she has some inner need to do so. I want a girl that I can trust completely and who I can support and be by and listen to because I want to...just because. Because I love her. I don't want to feel compelled to love in order to keep her by my side, I want to love to have her by my side, no matter what. I want to want to carry her through the darkest alleys, beating up the biggest boogiemen that she might come across in life for no other reason than that I want to keep her safe, protect her, just because I love her.
I want somebody with whom I can spend time with and not feel compelled to do anything...just enjoying each others' company. I want a girl that has such a presence in my heart and mind that she just existing is as close, comfortable, and reassuring as she and I cuddled closely together under a blanket in front of a fireplace. I want to feel that togetherness, that oneness, without having to be with them physically. I want a girl who can bring a smile to my face just thinking about her.
I want a girl that is curious about the world and who would want to search out meaning and adventure with me. I want a girl who travels, not just geographically, but spirtually, emotionally, intellectually too. A girl that just wants to see how other people do things, wants to understand why other people think the way that they do. I want a girl that is constantly looking for a better way, constantly questioning the direction that her life is going, and constantly trying to improve her own life because she believes, as I do, that a life of static is not worth living.
I don't know. I just wanted to get that out. I've been realizing how bad I've been in the past at finding girls that fit that description and how much better I've gotten at finding girls like that more recently (at least the last two). In the past, I often found myself going after the wrong kind of girl, girls not good enough for me, but I feel as though I've pulled myself back on track...even if it's to find that all the trains I'm interested in taking are heading in a different direction. *sigh* Oh well, that's life I guess. I just hope that in realizing this, maybe I can move ahead.
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