around the world in one blog entry

There are bunches of good stories to crack wise about today, I'll just list them:

• Jacko Fans Jump Ship - It seems that Michael Jackson's new box set isn't selling well; only 14,000 copies have been sold in the month it's been out. That's like one for every little kid he's scarred for life.



• Anderson woman survives impalement through mouth - I was going to make some sort of "Deep Throat" comment here, but that would be disrespectful. It's a miracle she's alive.



• Reluctant Witness Testifies After Threat Of Jail - Oh how I love the way the media glosses over "dirty" things. But what the hell is meant when they say "Thompson resigned after being accused of using a sexual device during a trial." And don't even get me started on this taking place in Oklahoma where lesibianism is so rampant they can't let girls go to the bathroom together.



• Memoirs of Bad Speller Napoleon Hit Auction Record - Napoleon was a bad speller, Bush is a bad speaker...both are megalomaniacs hell-bent on blowing up the world...hmmmmm, maybe there is such a thing as reincarnation.



• One in four buys broadband for porn - I guess that makes three out of four a complete liar since there's no other good reason I can think of for getting broadband. Sheesh. Now, if you'll excuse me...