the passion of the passion

I just got back from seeing Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ and frankly, I didn't like it.

First off, I feel as though it cheapens my faith. One of the friends that I went to see the film with bawled her eyes out throughout the two hours of bloody Jesus beatings (and don't think that that's not all this movie really is...a two hour physical bashing of Jesus). I know that she is not the only one. ehehe...blech. I don't know if I've shared this on this blog before (come to think of it, it's in my 100 things list), but the reason that I have not gone to church in years is because on one Easter, I had such an emotional breakdown as people are having with this film...a breakdown or at least deep, personal understanding that I just feel not nearly enough of the most pious and self-centered of Christians (you now the type, not the ones that struggle or have real faith, but the ones that thump Bibles and damn non-believers to Hell) truly have had. I looked around church that day and saw ignorance and emptiness, I felt enlightened, I felt as though I truly knew what it meant to be saved and at what price my being saved has paid for. I came to this enlightenment on my own, through my own personal struggle and because I needed it. Now other people are having that same sort of experience, but not on their own, not when and because they needed it...and not through their hearts. Instead, they are having it because it's being showed to them, at the discretion of the film distributors and movie theaters, and not through their hearts but through their minds. It creates a false sense of something that I feel very deeply and honestly...and something that only comes through earning it. But now way too many are getting a cheapened, watered down sense of that feeling that I feel...and it leaves me feeling empty.

Second, as I've said, the movie is little more than a two-hour exercise in physical mistreatment of an actor playing Christ. It goes way overboard as Jesus takes a beating that would be physically possible for a human being to endure. Not in the mental, emotional, or spiritual sense -- but in the flesh and bones sense. A human being cannot lose as much blood as Christ did in this movie, and a human being with the sorts of wounds suffered would lose gallons more than was shown lost in this movie...making it that much more overboard. I mean, for crying out loud, a person taking a beating so severe that one is covered with gouges through which several, many ribs are visible is not going to live for more than an hour at the most and even if so is not going to be physically capable of standing, let alone moving through the stations of the cross as protrayed in the film. Technical nitpicking here? No, it's not the technicality of the situation that bothers me, but the fact that Mr. Gibson felt the need to exagerate so. As I put it bluntly to a friend after leaving the theater..."what's the point in believing in something when it's not even so capivating a story to tell without exagerating it beyond belief?" It discredits faith in some regard to do so much as to manipulate emotions. And that's all it is...sitting there I could not feel as though Jesus is made to take a beating beyond anything any of us can bare to watch because Mr. Gibson wants to make sure we feel bloody sick as hell to our stomachs...which implies that the nature of Christ's cruxifiction and sacrifice is itself not capable of that reaction, which in effect cheapens the story and therefore the very basis of Christianity itself. The real Passion (taken from the Greek word meaning "suffering" for those not aware of the etymology) of Christ is -- and therefore should be conveyed as -- captivating enough to not need exageration. Emotional manipulation in movies is my single greatest cinematic pet peeve (and the reason I can't stand Steven Spielberg) and Mel Gibson's attainment of new heights of it in dealing with my faith sickens me.

In any case, it is late, but I wanted to write down those two thoughts before they are lost in my sleep. I may revise later.

more excuses

You know, I'm getting very tired of this blog right now and I feel like I may just take a break. I know I said something along those line a couple days ago, but I wasn't completely honest with my reasoning (partially honest, not entirely though). See, this whole life in a fishbowl thing can get kinda weary from time to time, especially right now when I'm sorta dealing with a lot of change and a lot of personal stuff and I'm not exactly sure of myself. You know? I would like to share, but I'm sorta embarrased because I really don't know what to think...it's awful embarrassing to be publically wrong or insane. hehe. Not to say that I'm planning on abandoning this thing, but it's just going to go in a different direction for a little while, I don't know where exactly, but it will...I think it's fair to say though that I will again be updating rather infrequently for a little while.

But it's not just that, it's also really getting on my nerves that people from my real life read this...not that they read this so much, but that they read it often and yet I do not hear from them. I'm sick of looking at my stats and seeing the same IPs that belong to people I know show up over and over and over again and yet not being able to get them to answer their phones or return messages. But that is neither here nor there I guess. It's just one of those things that's getting under my skin. Geez, I hate having to post things about people in my blog to get people's attention too, but sometimes it's the only way. Unfortunately.

Bah! I'm just sick of people. Silly humans. All your base are belong to us

updatereenoo

Hello. Sorry I haven't been updating this thing very much in the last week or two...I'm kinda taking this no working sleeping from 3am to 11am switched to working from 8am-4pm and sleeping from 11pm-7am thing a bit hard. hehe. Too many times I've heard a story or something and thought "gee, I should write something in my blog" and then have the thought vetoed by laziness. Oh well.

Besides just the four-hour shift in my sleeping time screwing me up, I'm also finding this switch from 16 hours of free time (24 minus eight of sleep) to six hours really, really weird. My days seem infinitely shorter...which they are when you consider I've gotta spend a certain amount of time eating and I tend to spend a minimum of an hour online every day...that six hours disappears FAST. I don't remember it ever being so...little. *sigh*

In any case, it'll probably be this weekend before I start posting again with any sort of gusto. I just wanted to check in and say that I'm not dead or anything. :)

i :heart: netflix

I signed up for Netflix's free trial two weeks ago and it is awesome. Two days after I ordered I got three movies in the mail, watched two of them that night, sent them back the next day, and two days after that I had two new movies. If I were to watch one movie a night, I think it works out so that I could watch a new one every night with only Sunday involved to screw things up. I'll have to figure out a way around that. In any case, it's only like $20 a month so I can actually rent for less than a buck a movie. So much better than Blockbuster, AND they have a better selection. Sweet.

EDIT: They've lowered their price to $18 a month!

amazing

Type "weapons of mass destruction program related facility" (with the quotes) into google....or just click here where I've typed it in for you. Go ahead, just do it. You know you want to.

The HSS is going to be SO after me now.

by the power vested in google

I did not win the Big Game even though I really wanted to, so I am now writing this post knowing that good ol' google just adores this site, picking it up whenever I type just about anything. So I just want to say something about the kind, wonderful person that DID win $230 million tonight (if someone did) and say how wonderful people that win the lottery are. I also want to type in a sentence "what should I do with my winnings?" and "is there anyone that could use my help now that I have won the lottery and am filthy stinking rich?" "I have way too much money on my hands, there must be a worthy soul out there willing and worthy to accept my generous donation to them so that they might get their life back on track." Pah, where should one put their extra millions anyway?

Here! Silly!

nader 2004?

So the rumor's out on Fox News that Nader will announce his candidacy for the presidency on Sunday. How stupid and egotistical is that man? As one of the 3% that voted for him, defending my vote as being legitimate and not "wasted" to the myriad of Democrats before and after the elction that argued otherwise, I don't see the point. I mean, there's no way I'd vote for the guy because if ever a vote for a third party candidate were a waste, it would be in an election when a facist-lite like our president needs to be voted out. I know that there are plenty of others like me too...people who really believe in the need of third parties to vote for them most of the time but for whom the situation now is so dire that that idealism is swallowed up by pragmatism.

The only reason that I see for Nader to run is because he has a super-inflated ego. Before I list a thousand and one four letter words and scores of curses at the man, however, I suppose I'll just have to wait until he actually says he's running (after all, we all know Fox News is about as reliable as the Weekly World News). If, however, he does announce...shame on him in advance...I will have lost all respect for the guy I so ardently supported four years ago.

the perfect plan

Step one: Buy a ticket for the $222 Million Mega Millions drawing
Step two: Win
Step three: Buy my own bloody island
Step four: don't need a step four when you have your own bloody island and millions left over in the bank now do ya?

ahhhhhhhh......

the real reason bush is gonna lose

I can't help but feel that the polls are showing that the presidential race is much closer than it is, even though the most recent Gallup poll that I have seen shows Kerry up on Bush by double digits. Why? No poll can truly grasp the attitude of voters and the zealotry for who wins in November.

Bush has, for the last two months now, managed to do something that has pissed off just about everyone. Aside from those of us who have always hated the man and his administration, he has alienated his own base with immigration reforms, untax and spend policies and the resulting deficit problems (we hit the $7 TRILLION mark on the debt on Tuesday! That means Bush has been in office for the last TWO trillion dollar benchmarks), the Mars initiative, lackluster speeches and interviews, and the list goes on. On top of that, the lies he's told over and over again have finally begun to sink in it seems, the war's not going well, abortion (even with all three branches of the government belonging to conservatives) is still just as legal as it was in the 90's, and now his stance (or rather, lack of a stance) on the San Francisco gay wedding parade is really pissing off evangelical and Republican Christians. His base is just not finding much of anything to rally behind. There's nothing for them to be excited about.

But for the Democrats....that's a different story.

This is something that all us Bush-hatas gotta remember come the times when the polls show Bush catching up or even surpassing Kerry (or I suppose Edwards stuck his little toe in the closing door again so I can't rule him out). The people that want Bush out, want Bush out at all costs and will, with only the most dire of excuses not to, get themselves to the polls on election day. The people that want Bush to sty in, well, they just don't have that sort of passion. Even the Washington Times admits this.

I love it.

this post is not very compelling at all

I just thought I'd warn ya. :)

So my cat watches tv, right. He especially likes the Simpsons, but when that's not on and he perches himself on the coffee table and decides to watch I tend to turn it to Animal Planet for him. He likes it...but tonight I turn it there and there's a show about some sort of monkey or something and he's REALLY getting into it...the stupid things are swinging from tree to tree and my cat's keeping a close eye on them. Suddenly he jumps off the table and goes up to the TV and the monkeys go away...so he he goes and checks behind the TV. No monkeys there and so he comes back around and rears up to put his face to the screen.

hehe. That was cute. Sometimes I don't hate cats.

Okay, now you can go back to whatever you were doing before wasting your time reading that. I just wanted to post something and honestly there ain't much else to post....

Oh, except now BOTH Kerry and Edwards are beating Bush in the polls. Woot!

if at first they don't succeed

You have that happen to you when you hear a song ten, hundreds of times and still it's not until that 87th or 135th or 609th time of hearing the song that you really hear the lyrics or some aspect of the song that you'd never really heard before...and it's something that really speaks to you? I just had that today riding home on the bus...the song, "Fight Test" by the Flaming Lips. The lyrics:

I thought I was smart - I thought I was right
I thought it better not to fight - I thought there was a
Virtue in always being cool - so when it came time to
Fight I thought I'll just step aside and that time would
Prove you wrong and that you would be the fool -

I don't know where the sun beams end and the star
Light begins it's all a mystery

Oh to fight is to defend if it's not
Now than tell me when would be the time that you would stand up
And be a man - for to lose I could accept but to surrender
I just wet and regretted this moment - oh that I - I
Was the fool

I don't know where the sun beams end and the star
Light begins it's all a mystery
And I don't know how a man decides what right for his
Own life - it's all a mystery

Cause I'm a man not a boy and there are things
You can't avoid you have to face them when you're not prepared
To face them -
If I could I would but you're with him now it'd do no good
I should have fought him but instead I let him - I let
Him take it -

I don't know where the sun beams end and the star
Light begins it's all a mystery
And I don't know how a man decides what right for his
Own life - it's all a mystery

Something about the Flaming Lips makes them rather unprofound in my mind...songs about spiderbites and pink robots will make you dimiss what a group has to say. I've always seen them as musical geniuses, the words to their songs being very secondary or even tertiary to the sound and put in more to add to the overall song than to delivery a message. As such, I don't listen to the words as closely as I probably should. But suddenly, today, out of the blue the words to Fight Test rang in my ears...and were very, very personal to me.

I don't feel like going into why, I just feel like sharing that. Too many times in life I allow myself to be defeated too easily. I give up when I should fight...and that goes triple when it involves girls. This song speaks volumes about me...I don't know where the sun beams end and the star light begins.

i :heart: big brother bush

I didn't write about this issue earlier this week because, frankly, it hits a little too close to home and is so incredibly asinine that any post then would have more than likely been an R-rated string of curses, blasphemies, and vexes rather than an y sort of statement of its stupidity and blatant disregard for the basic humanity of the American "little guy" by the current administration.

The issue, of course, is a recent White House report released by Bush's chief economic advisor stating that the outsourcing of jobs is a good thing. Yes, that's right, companies laying off American workers to move shop across one or the other ocean and set up in a foreign land with foreign workers to then sell us back the products we once made (thereby adding to our already monstrous $489 BILLION trade deficit which then pushes down the worth of the dollar) is good for the American economy.

In the words of Moe Sizlac: Whhhhhhaaaaaaaaa?!?!?

I'm sorry, but to me this shows a total disdain for the common American worker -- you or I -- in the eyes of the administration. The fact that every job shipped overseas is a job that an American won't hold is inconsequential because, in the end, it means more money for the companies doing the "outsourcing" which is good for the economy. Let me restate those last two words...the economy. Because that's what matters to those that hold this ridiculous view. Never mind Mr. Smith or Ms. Jones as long as "the economy" is doing well, all is well. What's important is the movement, the philosophy, the whole...parts, you and I, don't matter. We're all, after all, part of "the economy" and are pulled along with it wherever it will go...even if the force is more of a riptide dragging us across the rocks than it is the sailboat on the surface. It doesn't matter...we're going in the right direction.

I heard a Republican economist explain how this is the case, how this outsourcing is swell, in an interview this past week. He made it sound so simple: Outsourcing means that companies make more money because their costs are lower and therefore the prices go down and therefore the standard of living goes up. Sounds fantastic, doesn't it? Probably, as long as you're not one of those people whose job's been shipped to India or wherever and can afford to buy these things. Yeah, it's probably great as long as the way you make your money is by investing in these companies -- a luxury a lot of us don't have enough extra money lying around to take advantage of. But what about those of us who don't have a job and therefore don't have money to partake of these new even lower prices and higher standard of living? What about us? No, we're just swept under the rug. Right?

Thank you Mr. Bush. God bless you. May history smile upon thee as a grand humanitarian. May you find the road to cannonization be smoother than even Mother Theresa's.

My eyes are rolled back so far in my head that the whole world seems black.

i'm not anti-social, just lame

It's 2:30 and I just got back from playing euchre and rummy at a friend of my brother's house. Yes, we had some beers, but it wasn't a drinking thing really...just sitting around and playing cards, not for money. It was infinitely better than going to the bar or some party where there's little else to do but drink and worry about hooking up or even really caring what anyone else thinks about you. I like that. I wish I could get people together more often to do that.

Thing is, I think my circle of friends is starting to get to that point...where just enjoying each other's company and doing mindless stuff is preferable to going out and being a part of the scene. It sucks because I'm the oldest out of most of my friends (though in one small circle I'm the "little brother") so they're just now catching up or something...getting out of that crazy drinking and hooking up stage. It's nice.

valentines day schmalintines day

Here are some ideas for all us losers that ain't got peeps on Valentine's Day. But they forgot a couple things to do that I'd like to add:

Get a hooker -- Yeah, it's meaningless, dirty, and about as skanky of sex as there is...but hey, it's Valentine's Day sex. Right? And let's face it, it's better than the skanky-ass sex my roommate's going to be getting.
Wank off to kinky porn -- You do it anyway, why not make it a special night between you and miss Michigan?* Splurge and get some good stuff at the video store, maybe a 3-day pass to a porn site. Valentine's is too special a night for mere Skinemax. *(I have no idea if that Miss Michigan joke works outside of Michigan...if it doesn't, ask someone from Michigan where their hometown is and you'll get it pretty quick)
Mope and whine -- Yes, it's true that you will die alone. If it wasn't true you'd have someone to be with on the quote-unquote sexiest holiday of the year. Remember, whine is pronounced the same as wine and there ain't nothing wrong with drinking wine. Lot's of wine.
Get over it -- it's just a stupid Hallmark holiday anyway. You gonna let those fucks throw your heart in the dumpster? Make your own damn list (ooooo...or add 'em to the comments) and make the pain of loneliness go away through bitterness.

campaign prognosticating

One of the things that really excites me about the Democrats' chances of unseating der Furher is that the Republicans have completely shut themselves out of their usual attack routes. That's fantastic. Over the past three years -- and for that matter the past three decades or longer -- they have relied on cries of "unAmerican" and "tax and spend liberal"... Well, if Kerry does take the cake (and with two wins last night in the South it's truly his nomination to lose) there is absolutely no way to claim that the guy is not a patriot. The guy fought in Vietnam and after getting home had the balls to start an organization for veterens opposed o the war. That takes courage on both fronts as I'm sure he was alienated by a lot of people for both positions. Bush, on the other hand, didn't fight at all...instead getting hooked up with a stint in the Texas Air National Guard, barely passing tests that allowed him to fly and possibly not showing up for a year of that service (I don't think the announcement yesterday of pay records exactly dismisses those questions). There is no way that the Bush camp can come out saying that Kerry doesn't care about America and isn't willing to fight when the fight becomes necessary. Because he did, that's proven already. Bush, though, has proven that he's willing to fight too -- as long as it's other people dying -- there's something less patriotic in that in my opinion.

But the bigger issue that makes Kerry less vulnerable is the way that Bush has taken care of the budget. Each of the last three years have shown a higher increase in discretionary spending than any year of the Clinton administration. In fact, according to Fact Check, Bush has increased spending by more than 10% in each of his three budgets and overall an overall increase of 35.7% in discretionary spending since he took office. For comparison, Clinton never increeased spending by 10% in any of his budgets...staying under 4% in six of his eight budgets. To add insult ot injury, Bush, along with increasing spending, has decreased the amount of revenue that the government takes in through his irresponsible tax cuts. The effect being the largest deficits in American history and a complete turnaround for the official "fiscal responsibility" bragging rights for the Republican Party. Bush is more "spend" than any president in my lifetime and although he's not "tax" it's getting to a point where conservatives who are generally anti-"tax and spend" are just as frustrated with President Bush as they would be with the most liberal of liberals. It pretty much nullifies the entire attack...

For some reason though, I don't think that the Bush campaign is going to shy away from either of these approaches. I think the ideas behind both of these attacks are so ingrained in the Republican psyche that they won't be able to refuse the temptation. After all, as FOX news likes to point out, John Kerry is "practically Ted Kennedy". When they try it, however, I think the Democrats are pissed off enough to have finally grown some gonads and will strike back, pointing out the discreprencies in the things that Bush says and the things that he's done and the things that he continues to do. It's gonna be beautiful watching a debate where Bush has his pants pulled down in front of the country and can do nothing but stand there, blushing,with that damned smirk on his face. Oh man, I can't wait.

random stuff

I am really tired and am about to go to sleep, but I wanted to just post a couple random things that are happening right now.

First, I start working on Monday at the same job that I stopped working last July. It means I'll finally be getting some decent money but, of course, that's of little consequence when I owe family $2300 that I've borrowed since unemployment decided that I was ineligible.

I haven't heard anything about unemployment since I sent in my last protest. I got a note in the mail today saying that I had a certified letter to pick up. The note said it was from the "clerk's office" and I have no idea what that means. I'm thinking it may have something to do with the unemployment or perhaps with my filing taxes (and having not filed city taxes the last couple years...oops). I suppose it could also have something to do with my county Greens too since I was their treasurer for a year before I realized the organization was going to be all talk and no action. Maybe I'll be going to prison tomorrow too, who knows...okay, even paranoid old me doesn't think anything that bad would be made known to me through certified mail.

I am on the verge of doing something that could either lead to something really good or some deep hurt for a bit...or maybe neither. I cannot say what exactly in a public place like this, but keep me in your thoughts.

And lastly, General Clark is out of the presidential race. If you were at this blog constantly reloading, you would have been one of the first to know (that wasn't watching television news covering the primaries at least). That's how quickly I was able to put the strike tags around his link to the left.

Boo-yah!

more virginity for sale on ebay

But this guy is doing it just to chastise people for being creeps. Bravo! I doubt the link will work in about three hours however (I'm surprised it's stayed up for a full day already).

In related news, the R0sy Reid hits had almost died out but it seems she's gotten all popular again.

Note to those googlers: If you're googling the name of some chick who's supposedly selling her body online, and you get nothing but an unrelated blog to show up, do you really think your little wetdream is for real? I think it's pretty obvious at this point that the story was made up...after all, she said she was making her own site to prostitute herself and all people come up with when googling (two weeks after the story ran I might add) is this blog and the original "news" story. You'd think people'd get it, but nooooooooooooo...waste my bandwidth will ya.

more money for nothing

This morning I (finally) got my state tax return deposited into my checking account. I say "finally" even though I am very much aware that I only filed a week ago and that one week ain't so bad at all. I mean, prior to the invention of the internet by Al Gore in the late 1980's (that's a joke...) such a thing would have been deemed impossible. Heck, even after the invention of the Dubya Dubya Dubya it was years before any sort of system existed for the use of filing taxes online, or direct depositing of refund checks for that matter. I mean, I've been doing it for four years now...maybe only three...and it has spoiled me.

I mean, I sit here on my bed, typing on my laptop, complaining about how the world moves too fast and people don't take the time to slow down and enjoy life, LIVE life and here I am getting almost upset by the fact that my tax refund has (gasp!) taken a week and a day to get to me. *sigh* Kinda sad, isn't it? It's already amazing that I can get it at all within a four to six week time frame considering the millions of tax returns that the state has to go through in the span of two or so months, the fact that I can push "send" and have my money in my account in barely more time than it would take for a correspondence to travel from my place to the state capital and back again is really a sort of blessing. But I got anxious. Go figure.

I guess none of us are really all that immune to the trappings of the promises of the instantaneous lifestyle.

abb!

I have just signed up to work on the Kerry campaign. As I've said before, there are other candidates that are closer to me in terms of ideology but Kerry is both the very probable winner at this point as well the man I feel is best suited to make a mockery of George W. Bush and beat him in November with enough votes so the whole thing stays very much away from the Supreme Court.

I have worked campaigns before, but it has been years. I think 1996 was the last time I did anything...it's hard when you're a Green and there's no one to really jump behind (I never really campaigned for Nader, the local Green party being a lot of talk and very little action). But this year there's a rallying point...get Bush out of office at all costs. I will make phone calls, I will go door to door, I will do everything in my power to get that man removed from office. I will rent a bloody cargo van and shuttle hundreds of Kerry voters to the polls on election day if need be. Bush must not be re-elected.

I suggest other people sign up to help too. None of us like pseudofacists in the White House.

John Kerry 2004

boobies and pee-pees and bums and pussies

At this moment, The Drudge Report is reporting that the FCC Chairman is or has threatened to revoke CBS liscense over Janet Jackson's breastcapade. Does someone have any aspirin?

This is sort of the exact opposite sort of thing that I've been trying to get at on this here blog for the last few weeks, but that sort of opposite that's sort of the exact same thing...Opposite in that one side of the coin is that sex is too important and the absence of it is the perceived death of a person whereas the other side of the coin keeps sex at an etremely long arm's length away...the coin, of course, being sex obsession.

I just don't get the neo-puritan movement. I guess it's not really new at all, but it is a sexual conservatism that is self-defeating in it's own close-mindedness. It's the sort of view that says it all right that Nelly is singing about it being hot and the need to remove clothing and Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson are also singing about undressing but once skin is shown, a line is crossed. It's the sort of view that actually believes that two deeply in love gay guys getting married to each other will catastrophically disrupt the moral fabric of this country while condoning two kids that don't even know themselves get married for all the wrong reasons because they're at least being responsible about their sexuality and not naging before marriage. It's the sort of view that shuns overt sexuality and yet protects the closests in which very scary skeletons often loom. It's a sex obsession that is completely wrapped up in image just as much as its opposite...and just as fucked up.

I don't understand the idea that a breast being on television is indecent. I don't see anything indecent about the human body at all and see absolutely no reason why nudity, at least in a non-sexual form, is not allowed in the public arena. I do not see why suggestive, though not explicit, sexual nudity is allowed in forums where children are not likely to view it. I do not understand how being in America what I am suggesting here is radical and even perverse, whereas in most all of Europe it would be considered rather conservative. But that's beside the point...I got a bit detracted there.

The point is explicit sexuality is just as dangerous and unhealthy as the repressed sexuality that the more puritanical among us promote. Denial of sexual freedom (in the case of anti-homosexuality) and outrage at the chance appearance of excessive skin (in the case of the Superbowl breastcapade) is just as erosive to society as promiscuity is. Crying about gay people getting married and breasts a-poppin' is going to cause children to question what these things are even more than belly-shirts and PDAs ever will...and the forbidden fruit factor ("It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden" - Mark Twain) has influenced mankind more than any other force perhaps greed and love. When will people learn?

It is an idea that many of the great teachers taught -- moderation. It was a major tenant of Jesus, of Buddha, Aristotle, Goldilocks, and others. Not too much, not too little. Sexual obsession either direction is anything but healthy.

the last refuge of a scoundral

Mr. President said a lot during his interview with Tim Russert this morning, but this statement really caught my attention: " "He had the capacity to have a weapon, make a weapon. We thought he had weapons. The international community thought he had weapons. But he had the capacity to make a weapon and then let that weapon fall into the hands of a shadowy terrorist network."

He is trying to pass this off as justification for the war. That is incredible to me. What he is saying is "well, we know he could do it and we're pretty sure he wanted to do it, and since if he did it it could pass them off to people that maybe would use them against us or someone..." You know where those sorts of vaugeries would get you in a court of law? Nowhere. I don't even think a rational and objective judge would hold an accused person over for trial if that's the best that the prosecutor could come up with. But if the bogusness of the evidence came out after the trial (as it was in the case of this war), I doubt there is a single appelate court in the country that wouldn't overturn a conviction...if a conviction would have been attainable at all in the first place (I woulda been a holdout on the jury)... I guess the analogy could be questioned a bit, or at least not clear, but it comes down to this: How can the president of this country be so lax with justication when it comes to international law and the deaths of hundreds of American soldiers when it would be so easily overturned and condemned in every courtroom in this country.

How can an American president be so cold and callous, so disrespectful of the rules and laws of the international community? How can he go on national television and say that, even though all our evidence turned out to be bullshit, we are still justified? How can he not say that all those soldiers died in vain when they died protecting us from illusions, ghosts if you will.

This man, George W. Bush, has no honor at all. If he did he would take responsibility for being the total fuck-up and lousy president that he is. He would acknowledge the funerals the that he is responsible for making necessary by perhaps attending one or two, he would apologize for having jumped the gun "a bit" on the whole reversal of 200 years of American foriegn policy and invasion of a soveriegn nation with guns blazing cowboy shit under the guise of heroic savior of the free world. I already believe him to be the single worst president in American history and my disdain for the man grows even more every day.

My blood-pressure goes up just thinking about the guy.

and i love brazil too

A month or so ago when the US announced that it was to photograph and fingerprint every foreigner entering the country a lot of people were appalled that we would treat everyone that's not an American citizen as a common criminal. After all, our friends and allies don't feel a need to treat us so badly. Brazil actually did something about it, instituting the same policy towards Americans. Of course, it's only to Americans so it's quite obviously a retaliatory thing. I admire them for it. Not that I would want to be treated that way, but I think it's the point that Brazil is trying to make.

In any case, as I said, I wouldn't want to be treated that way and I don't think that most of us would. Which explains that, for the second time in a month, an American has been fined $5000 for flipping off the camera during his mugshot. I don't feel sorry for the guy...if he thought he was being cute or funny, I bet he's not going to find that sorta thing cute or funny in the futute (which I find funny myself, I don't know about anyone else). If he was really just pissed off at the fact that he was treated like the next drunk celebrity brought in for a DUI booking then he has no one else to blame for his treatment than his own paranoid and overzealous government, treating the world like shit and therefore bringing the shit of the world upon us.

God Bless America.

yet another reason to love canada

From MacCleans:

Yes, we're cavilling, but clearly there is something about George W. Bush that gets under the skin of Canadians. After all, vehemently disagreeing with the policies of American presidents is almost a national pastime. There has to be another explanation for our extreme reaction, the desire afoot in the land to see him turfed from office. That and the unprintable sentiment about him and the horse he rode in on. Even before we know whom he will be running against this fall, Canadians have made their decision. Only 15 per cent, according to an exclusive new Maclean's poll, would definitely cast a ballot for Bush if they had the opportunity. And if Americans remain almost evenly divided -- some 50 per cent approve of his performance in the White House and he's running neck and neck with his likely Democratic challengers -- there is no such dithering on this side of the border. Just 12 per cent of us feel Canada is better off since he took office, and only a third of respondents will admit to liking the world's most powerful man, even just a little bit.

Hey, they might be adding to their population a bit if Dubya pulls off a win in November. I don't think the usually empty "I'll be moving to Canada if so and so wins" threats will be so empty this year. Though I'm not sure I'd add my name (if John Ashcroft, on the other hand, found himself nominated I'd be looking for apartments in Toronto and Ottawa) it's still an option. In any case, I think it speaks volumes when a nation as close to the US as Canada -- culturally probably moreso than politically, but still -- is this opposed to our president. It certainly, I think, speaks volumes more than when simlar polls in France and Germany show similar responses. In any case, it's a bit of a reaffirmation of my loathings I suppose.

money for nothing and your chicks for free

I had to stay in tonight. Well, I could have gone out, I guess, had someone called and asked if I wanted to do anything...but, since that rarely ever happens it's pretty much an issue of my having to stay in tonight. Last night I went out and drank for pretty much nine hours straight to celebrate the birthday of a friend. First it was an overpriced dinner ($35 for just my meal -- that's more than a week's groceries for me...or the overall cost of my birthday meal for six of us on my last birthday -- you know, pizza) then it was over to her place to drink more...and more...and more. You know, I'm not into that anymore. It wasn't that much fun being drunk and it wasn't so much fun the way that the chicks were kissing each other and flashing their breasts either. I used to enjoy that stuff...I used to go out and look for rowdiness like that on the weekends.

...but not so much anymore. *sigh*

It just seemed sort of sad and pathetic in a way, like a waste of my bloody time. I don't know. Not that I regret anything that I did or, as is more the case, didn't do but just that this is what we were doing in the name of "fun". It was lame. Really lame. Sad thing is, this is what the people I surround myself with (when they actually let me) do for fun and I've...I don't want to say "outgrown" it, but I've just gotten tired of it I guess. Years of the same old shit...getting me nowhere but bad feelings and stupid mistakes...nothing good really gained from it. Nothing positive at all. At least I can't think of anything good that's come out of it for me or anyone I know...I don't know.

I think it used to be that I felt it was a release but I just don't feel it anymore. I'd feel more released with a good talk with a friend or a good snuggle with some girl I'm in love with. I'd feel more released if I was in the darkroom again developing photos (...if I ever got my camera back -- you know who you are :) or even participating in something political that wasn't all overthetop childish (as I think most liberal activism tends to be...with the outfits and the shouting and whining and blah blah blah). I want to do something and that's like the exact opposite of what goes on. And it feels empty...I don't feel anymore full than I did before last night, no more full than I would had I done nothing, and that I think is the greatest test of the worthiness of ones actions.

Okay, now I'm just rambling and preaching and crap.

tale of the tit

Why is this still news? Ugh. You know, in the last week the second Mars Rover has rolled off it's lander, David Kay has told the world that there aren't any WMDs in Iraq now or before the war, the President has been shown to be a liar, John Kerry has been made the presumptive nominee for president of the United States of America and still this crap about Janet Jackson and her nasty-ass, silver-plated breast is all over the bloody news. WTF?

Today I've heard or read stories about how Justin Timberlike was, like, "Oh my God!" [/valley girl voice] when he ripped her shirt off even though he had the look of a caveman that just clubbed his Saturday Night date over the head. I've heard how ER re-edited it's show last night because in it there was to appear a naked breast (edited out specifically because of this controversy). I've read that CBS has decided to put the audio and the video for this weekend's Grammy's on time-delay (which, of course, begs the question of how or why they would have time-delayed one or the other only but that's beside the point). And the list can go on.

GROW UP PEOPLE!!!!

Sheesh...it was just a bloody tit. Not even a particularly great one at that. It was only for a second or two AT MOST and, if you even saw it live, it was not so close as to see anything. All that aside, I do not see the need for so much controversy (I do not see why a breast on tv should cause any controversy at all, but that's beside the point) over it. Breasts are something that most of us have some sort of experience with, and a lot of it non-sexual. A lot of us sucked on them when we were small and half of us grew up to have them...hell, pump enough estrogen into even the most manly man and even he'll grow the things. I mean yeah, the meaning behind the whole breast-capade (I like that better than Boobiegate, sorry Dan) was sexual ("I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song...blahty blah blah"), but seriously, IT WAS JUST A TIT! Considering there was a monkey trying to pick up a woman in one of the commercials and kids swearing in another, I think there are more worrysome things for us to, um, worry about.

/rant

What worries me most is that this sort of news gets everyone riled up whereas the exposure of the administration's misuse of faulty intelligence to send (at the time I'm hitting "post") 528 American servicemen and women to their premature deaths in the sands of a foriegn country that resents us being there is packed up and sent to the second page so that blurred out pictures of breasts can fill up the front page. Ugh, what this country needs is an enema. Seriously, I don't know if there is such a poll out there, but I'd REALLY like to see who's been hurt more by their respective revelations of the past week -- Janet Jackson or George W. Bush. I have a sneaky suspicion I wouldn't like the results.

Oh, and if you're reading this because you've googled "Janet Jackson's tit" or something...get a fucking life.

shell game times ten

I don't know if anyone that reads this is a supporter of Bush, but he has done yet another thing that makes me question what they hell those people are smoking. From KnightRidder:

Noticeably absent from next year's request is money for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. White House budget director Joshua Bolten estimated that another $50 billion would be needed to cover those costs next year. The White House expects to cover the war costs with supplemental funds after next fall's elections

This is evil on so many levels. First off, it's an attempt on the part of the administration to deny that this whole conquering of the world foriegn policy that it's enacted is costing us a lot more than we were told it would before the wars. It's a blatent denial of responsibility on the part of George W. Bush and a blatent slap in the face of American's who, they believe, will fall for this rouse.

Also, Mr. Bush's "budget" is already over a half trillion dollars in the red. This $50B (and very likely more than that) would add 10% to an already ridiculously huge deficit. What ever happened to the Contract With America and the balanced budget amendment? Out the window for sure, but how can such a pillar of the Republican Party be overturned so completely in a mere 10 years? Back then, Republicans called Democrats "tax and spend" but they are even bigger monsters themselves...after all, it was a democrat that balanced the friggen budget (without an amendment no less) and a Republican that took that quarter-trillion dollar surplus and turned it around.

i figured i'd jump on the blogging bandwagon

Of course, it's a couple months late but I present to you my "100 Things people may or may not know about me" list.

Oh, and just because I'm all share-y and stuff at this moment, I figured I'd link you to my 100 life goals list too that I put up a few years ago on my old website.

if politics were a woman...

This news would be a tall red-head with penetrating green eyes and thin lips. Seriously, I have like the political equivalent of a boner right now just thinking about how decent a chance there is that Bush is going to get a taste of his own unemployment medicine come election time. I hope they find a way to take away his entitlements too.

This isn't a fluke either that Kerry's polling better than Bush, the general trend in every job performance poll is going down for Bush. Right now, they're all saying he's below 50% which is a fifteen point drop in the month and a half since Saddam was captured (and the Lemming-American polling bloc decided that he was therefore doing a good job).

something new (and another shill for acknowledgement)

I put up a visitor map because I am a dork and tend to find it cool to see a visual reference of where people are from. Even if you don't visit often or are here looking for news of Rosy Reid and her infamous virginity selling please put in your pin.

Speaking of Rosy Reid (approximately 300 people googled this blog because of that post), that whole thing has lead to my blog being on the 4th page of google if you type in a search for "virginity blog". Isn't that bloody fan-fricken-tastic?

minding my p's and q's

Today I'm reading some of my past posts and I'm noticing so many spelling mistakes. Okay, maybe not a really high mistake per word average, but they're still there and they sometimes make things really hard to read. Funny thing is, blogger has a spell check, the button is actually four over from the button that makes the words I type magically transfer to this particular blog at this particular URL. I have never used it. Never. I don't know why that is.

In real life I am more or less a minor perfectionist. I will try and retry to rework those things that need it until they reach a point where I know they're good enough -- at least to a point where the room for improvement is no longer big enough to make the expenditure of energy worthwhile. It's funny though, here on the internet (and not just here on my blog, but e-mails and here and there bulletin board postings -- am I old-fashioned for calling "discussion boards" and "forums" and the like bulletin boards?) I don't give a crap. Seriously. It's stupid too because as someone who would love, adore, and do anything even kill or die for the chance to be a professional writer, the internet is really my only outlet. At least where I might be discovered. hmmmmmmmmmmm........

...just random thinking.

holy crap!

Kyle's more popular than Jesus!

current events in code to fool google

Given google's ability to pick up my words and link everyone in the world to this blog because I happen to mention a news story that has something to do with sex (it's a good thing I never mentioned a certain French capital's hotel intercourse recording or I would've blown through all my bandwidth) has forced me to make my comment this way.

You know that game last night, the big one with the two teams, one named after the fighters in the American revolution, the other named after those big cats? Yeah, the one that everyone watches, some just for the commercials (though, God forbid, not commercials that criticize the President...not in America, not on public airwaves)...yeah...that one. You know the woman that sang and that other guy that sang that sang those words about removing the female's textiles and then tugged away at the fabric covering her mammary gland, thus exposing said mammary gland to the world "accidentally"?

Yeah, I thought that star-shaped silver thingy was a pasty...it's actually a piercing. What the hell's up with that?

Shit...I said pasty and piercing (and for that matter "blown")...I'm gonna be getting all sorts of sex-starved googlers visiting now.

desperado

It's winter time and my feet are cold, the sky doesn't snow and the sun doesn't shine. The highs and lows are all disappearing and the feeling has all gone away. I can't even tell the night from the day.

My prison is walking through this world alone.

a moment of clarity

I talk too much. Actually, I don't say a lot but there are always words spewing out of my mouth. But what words that do come out of my mouth are not for the purposes of communication, but my own thought process -- my seeing others' reactions to what I say gauging somewhat whether what I'm saying makes any sense. This is weird to some people, I'm sure, offensive even.

I've been told in the past couple weeks that I state the obvious and that it's sometimes offensive, as if I'm talking down to people...even though it's just me reaching out for reconfirmation of those things that I think -- think out loud. I've been shunned too, treated like a fly that keeps buzzing past it's tolerated allotment of time -- swatted. I can't help but feel that these two things are tied together. It makes sense at least.

I should keep my thinking to the paper and the computer screen, out of conversation. I really should. None of the people in my life are as bloody ADD as me, none really understand that the way I am is not meant to be mean-spirited or manipulative, but really kinda innocent in a way -- my insults more like a child's "may daddy says..." sort of thing. Unintended. If I knew they mean when I said them, I wouldn't.

Anyway, just thinking out loud, needed to save this thought for later. No one else needs heed to it.

saturday night

I feel esecially lonely tonight. Though I have come to just expect to sit at home alone on Saturday nights (and Friday nights too for that matter) there has just been something about tonight that makes it just sadder than most. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just that I have this feeling that lately I've been pissing off everyone that I talk to with my ineptitude to say the right thing. Everytime I say something I second guess what I just said, praying that it came out the way I intended it to...that alone causes some problems in that people notice that I'm doing it. But it's better than saying the wrong thing unintentionally. In any case, people tend to be treating me as if I've irritated them somehow, like they just want to keep me at arm's length for awhile. I hope it's just the winter blahs.

I've also been thinking about my romantic loneliness. How I've not been appreciated in a romantic way by anyone, at least to my knowledge, for at least a couple years now. I try to talk about it with my friends and they just brush it off to the side, "you said there was that girl and that other one..." Yeah...but. And I can't say anything about it because I'm sure it wouldn't come out right anyway... I've had crushes, I've had a few...but not with anyone who would even dare to return the affection.

Yeah, I'm a monster.